NyGentleman Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Well its been a roller coaster of a ride here for the past 4 weeks, and this has been the longest that we haven't been in contact, period in the past 2.5yrs of of us knowing eachother ... The back log, she couldn't be serious with me because of her past (the ex) and walked away from an amazing friendship, and 4-5 months of a serious relationship w.o the title followed by 4 days w/the title and this is when she told me the truth... Since we go to school together it makes it hard to totally forget about everything that went on between us, but at this point with absolutely no contact i feel as if i never met her, that we never knew eachother and that this is really the end this time...(i did give her a 2nd chance after i walked away briefly 2 weeks when she didnt see her ex was using her and she came back telling me i was important and she didnt want to lose me again) she is very stubborn and sometimes i feel as if even though she did make the decision at this point she is waiting for me to contact her if we should talk again and i dont think thats my position to do so ... if it was really important to stay friends or whatever she would be contacting me no? It just hurts to think about someone you cared about and where there for through thick and thin could walk away and not care anymore ...with 4 weeks left of school, and the real world begins shortly after i feel as if this is the make or break point ... Link to comment
StillClimbing Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 NYGent: I know how you feel, dear. It is so frustrating when people have their own agendas that don't include you anymore...especially when you cared so much for them. But you have the answer in the quote in your signature: another door will open up. This girl did not deserve you. The great news is that by being with her you learned a lot. You grew, and now you will be an even better partner to a girl who does deserve you. Just be glad this didn't drag on into your late 20s or marriage. You are better off. You will look back and know that one day. You will find someone who isn't still bonded to her ex. in an unhealthy way. She wasn't in any position to focus on you with all that baggage. Hang in there and focus on school and spending time with your friends! Link to comment
beebee Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 yes, i understand completely... this question was one i asked myself many times and it only gets more confusing as time goes on... i dont believe that your time in her life was forgotten... not at all... i believe that the ex's have to do what they are doing so that they can move on also... this is the only explanation i have for you... its so hard to believe that all that love and caring went unnoticed after the "love is gone"... i wish i had a better explanation for you but i dont... just know that your not alone in these feelings as you can see by reading the posts on enotalone... if you have started NC then you can at least look back on this time and say that you left with dignity... im so sorry i cant help more... i just wanted to say that i know what you are feeling... Link to comment
NyGentleman Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 Thanks for the kind words, its been very hard and for some reason i cant completely forget about what happened ... I think the main thing is here is that I had a vision of her being a completely different person and hence why i probably ignored all the red flags ... in my mind she could have been the perfect gf/friend but her true personality and own past/life issues shined through... leaving me with someone i feel as if i don't even know anymore ... I think the other reason why its so hard is because ive never had to deal with this type of situation before, where there was no real closure, just bad timing and since im a problem solver type of person it frustrates me to no end that it didn't work out ... i also stepped outside of the box with her and for the first time in my life I became a man who really could do anything to make her happy (if she needed me fix something, cook dinner for her and her friends, communicate feelings etc...) I was really on top of my game because making her happy made me happy, and thats where the problem was, it was all about what i was doing for her, and with her head not into it, there wasn't much of her to me ... there are so many instances i can remember of her telling me things that contradict everything, one day its "where did you come from, your the sweetest guy ive ever met" after i told her something amazingly romantic, to the end of our history and her telling me my i cant be serious with anyone right now due to my past, and i wanna be with you for the right reasons.... I just hope she doesn't forget about all that when it comes down to crunch time and she sees the whole picture one day ... and hopefully when that day comes ill have someone who appreciates me and wants to share all these things together ... Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Things will look up, I promise, take care of yourself! Dan on Long Island. Link to comment
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