Nc

[anya1607307555]

I've tried to search for this answer before asking, but can someone please answer a simple question about NC?

 

I think I'm correct in assuming it means No Contact, however, I'd like to know exactly what that procedure entails. is it suggesting you break off all contact without telling the person, effectively ignoring them or that you inform them it's over prior to moving on?

[Stu147]

I've tried to search for this answer before asking, but can someone please answer a simple question about NC?

 

I think I'm correct in assuming it means No Contact, however, I'd like to know exactly what that procedure entails. is it suggesting you break off all contact without telling the person, effectively ignoring them or that you inform them it's over prior to moving on?

 

Hi Anya,

 

Yes, NC means no contact. If you tell someone you are going no contact it's a bit like telling someone you're not talking to them. It is then just an action to get a reponse from them. The point of no contact, as I see it, is not to get a response from the other person. Ok, it may draw a response but that's not the point of doing it. The point is for you to have time to gather your thoughts and feelings and, if necessary, to move on with your life.

 

The extent to which you 'ignore' someone would very much depend on the way in which your relationship ended. If it ended amicably but you need time to move on then minimal contact may suit you better than no contact.

 

Take care...

[anya1607307555]

thanks superior, hi

 

but isn't totally ignoring someone without an explanation, a little cruel?

[Stu147]

thanks superior, hi

 

but isn't totally ignoring someone without an explanation, a little cruel?

 

Again it depends on the circumstances of your break up. A lot of people are hurting very much when they break up with someone, so their first priority needs to be themselves. Once you break up with someone they are no longer your responsibility. While you might try to refrain from hurting them unnecessarily you should still be focused more on yourself and getting over it. No contact is not meant to be cruel, it is meant to be about personal healing.

 

You don't mention the circumstances of your own seperation so it is hard to give you a 'best fit' piece of advice. If you feel you can handle contact without hurting yourself further or confusing yourself then by all means stay in contact. No contact is not for everyone, it is just another option to consider.

 

Take care...

[anya1607307555]

Again it depends on the circumstances of your break up. A lot of people are hurting very much when they break up with someone, so their first priority needs to be themselves. Once you break up with someone they are no longer your responsibility. While you might try to refrain from hurting them unnecessarily you should still be focused more on yourself and getting over it. No contact is not meant to be cruel, it is meant to be about personal healing.

 

You don't mention the circumstances of your own seperation so it is hard to give you a 'best fit' piece of advice. If you feel you can handle contact without hurting yourself further or confusing yourself then by all means stay in contact. No contact is not for everyone, it is just another option to consider.

 

Take care...

 

I'm not looking to consider no contact, myself. I've been on the receiving end of no contact with several friendships/relationships, and am trying to understand their motives, and more importantly why I cause someone to take that option.

 

the fact I find it cruel and upsetting kind of indicates why I have tolerated so much inappropriate behaviour in the past? maybe I should've been the one to exercise it sometimes, instead of thinking of them first. I need to set higher standards I think.

 

I hope I'm making some sort of sense. thanks for helping me think my way through this.

[KileOriginal]

Let's not forget that NC is also a way for you to keep yourself from doing stupid stuff like showing desperation to someone your loosing.

 

NC is also a way to force the other person to realize what life without you is like, and also give you time to separate yourself from strong feelings you may have towards that person.