first love

[carbon]

Some questions:

 

How common is it to marry your first love?

 

Do you ever stop loving your first love?

 

Do you ever stop missing the innocence of a first relationship?

 

Is it normal to keep thinking about your first love even after dating other people?

 

 

Any stories or personal anecdotes would be great.

[hottottie]

I think it can be quite common to marry your first love. I can think of 5 couples I know that have gotten married and were eachother's first loves/high school sweethearts.

I don't think you will ever stop loving your first love. Its not saying your going to be in love with that first love for the rest of your life, but you will always have a deep respect and notion for that person because they were your first love. You can love them still and not be in love with them anymore. Its a matter of caring. And when you see them again, whether it be months later, or years later, you'll think of what you had and its totally normal.

I think the innocence of a first relationship will come back with each "real" new relationship you encounter. Sure there will be those unlukcy encounters where you will be with someone, but it truly isnt meant to be, but when you encounter that relationship where its real and you know, you will have brought some of those amazing feelings, beliefs, everything from a first love back with a new one.

I think its perfectly normal to think about your first love even after dating other people. I also see that being in a new relationship and comparing that person to your first love normal. Its just a human thing I think we all would do. From personal experience i've done it, and I dont think it as being wrong, but from learning from life's mistakes and going with fixing and making things right.

Hope that helps!

[laboheme]

One of my coworkers dated a man for over 10 years...I don't know if he was her first love or not, but it was definitely the first and only relationship of that caliber that she had.

 

She is now happily engaged after having dated her fiancee for two years. I have seen the two of them together and they are absolutely adorable. She talks about him like he's the greatest guy in the world, and he's always doing these sweet little things for her...

 

As far as her ex? She told me that she misses him, and that to some extent she always will. She doesn't tell her fiancee when she has one of those bad ex-missing days (although he knows that she had that relationship). She had a hard time meeting up with some of her old friends recently because she knew it would bring back some memories and make her quite sad...And at the same time, like I said, she is incredibly happy with her fiancee.

 

So I think it's normal to think about your first love even after dating other people, just like it's normal to think about your first, well, basically anything! That's the charm and the curse of those firsts...Heck, I think of my first crush sometimes (elementary school!), and that's after having given my heart away to my ex!

[caro33]

I am going to sound negative I'm afraid. I am having a language problem today, I just lectured someone else for using the word "soulmate" . I also tend to have an issue with the whole "first love" mythology. Don't get me wrong, I certainly know that some people have major first love experiences and all goes swimmingly. But I also think there's an awful amount of romanticised BS that goes with "first love".

 

I wonder what it even means - the first person we had a relationship with is not necessarily the first love. And what if that first relationship went for maybe a month or two? Does a month or two at age 16 (or whenever) really compare to a two year relationship when in your mid-20s (for example)? I think some people romanticise a version of "first love" that really only comes with 20:20 hindsight and some creative versions of their history.

 

I know that for me my first "love" was several relationships into my life, but the previous ones were short-lived. That first love almost fell over a bunch of times, but ended up lasting 10 years (mostly through my own stupidity in the early years to get out while the getting was good). Thing is, I was still heartbroken as only a teenager can be over the previous relationships, but I also got over them after a while. I would have thought at the time that each one was my first real love...

 

Now I know people like my husband who can't talk about their first real sexual relationship without getting all choked up (even after 20 odd years), but that's also because I think he remembers the hurt more than anything. He doesn't pine for her or anything like that.

 

So all of you feel free to disagree, but my own opinion is that the first love thing works for some people but for many others who came first was just a matter of timing, not the stars aligned in any way. You move on, you get past it. I think the best relationships for many of us actually come later when you know yourself better; I have never fondly recalled the naivety of my youth, it just embarrasses me to think of who I was and the gormless boys I hankered after.

[melrich]

From my personal experience, your "first love" always remains special because it was the first but definitely with time it just becomes a fond (maybe even melancholy) memory.

 

Some people do end up staying with their first love for life but it is more the exception than the rule.

[Dako]

My first love was a a disaster, and I have no fond memories of it.

[Leonhart]

My first love makes me sad.

 

Hell, what am I saying...? She was my only love, thus far!

[Aleadragonhawk]

To the question asking if you ever stop loving your first love - I believe that in some cases you do. In mine, I found out that the man I was in love with had told a series of very serious lies. I was actually kind of happy to learn that. I was starting a new relationship, and it let me let go of all the feelings I'd had for him.

[brokenbird]

i've never stopped loving my first love.

[iwishiknew]

I have always wondered what love is like? or falling in love?..I am still waiting for that experience to happen.

[crazyredhead]

My first love broke my heart. I still love him 12 years later. (I don't however see him, or pine away for him any more)

 

My mom is my dad's first love, and this year they celebrate 43 years of marriage.

 

I suppose that in today's world that is not as common as it was back 40-something years ago. Kind of sad really.

[Jess...]

Some questions:

 

How common is it to marry your first love?

 

Do you ever stop loving your first love?

 

Do you ever stop missing the innocence of a first relationship?

 

Is it normal to keep thinking about your first love even after dating other people?

 

 

Any stories or personal anecdotes would be great.

 

 

I know I can't really say much because I am only 18, but I have just recently lost my first love. He broke up with me on christmas eve, and he was my first real love, the only boy (and I say boy because he hasnt grown up yet) that I have ever loved. I don't think I will ever stop loving him, but that is just me personally, and those thoughts may fade in time, and I may indeed end up not loving him anymore. But yes, I think a first love will always stay close to, or in your heart, unless it ended really badly, or was bad, etc...

[pesh]

My first love has been my only love, and has been so for the past 5 and a half years. I don't know what it is about this relationship. Everything has, on the whole, been almost perfect, except for a few minor things that we talked through. I hope to God that we do get married... he's the man of my dreams. I feel bad sometimes when I see other people go through horrible relationships and are left burned by an ex, and here I am, with this almost perfect relationship the first time around.

[brokenbird]

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