Audi42005 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Hello all, after reading through many of these topics i decided to join and ask for some advice. My girlfriend and i have dated off and on for six years and are currently taking a break since about 2 weeks ago. We started dating early in highschool and have broken up 3 times and have gotten back together, and now are taking a break again. I really love her and i want to eventually marry her. in the past i we have broken up and remianed close friends and have also had NC for a while before getting back together. do you think that this relationship is going to go anywhere or am i just kidding myself thinkin that we could get married. I have talked to her twice since we have been apart and i have initiated it both times. I do want to try the NC approach but then again i feel that if i don't have contact with her once in a while that i will loose her totally. we both agreed to taking a break from eachother but i know that i only want it to be a break and not permenant. It is really hard for me to be away from her because of how close we are and how much i truly love her. any ideas or thoughts on this? Any advice is greatly appreciated! Link to comment
DN Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Hi, welcome to eNotAlone. What caused the previous breaks and especially what caused this one? Link to comment
laboheme Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I don't know if you should be thinking about marriage just yet...Based on the numbers that you gave in the post, you're still fairly young...And the fact that you've broken up several times is natural, since you started dating early in high school, and both of you have since then experienced many changes. Do you guys discuss the reasons for breaking up? When you do get back together, is it because of guilt, because of not having found anyone better, or because you do want to be together, but other things end up getting in the way? It is possible (though probably not likely) that you may wind up together once both of you have a more definite idea of what you want your life partner to be like. In that case, if you're "meant to be," so to speak, trying NC now should not change anything. If she truly cares about you, she'll find her way back to you, and hopefully then she won't let go again. I personally think that spending quite a bit of time away from each other will be good for both of you; it will give you a fresh perspective on your friendship, your relationship, and where things really stand emotionally. Link to comment
Audi42005 Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 the previous break ups had to do with mostly being immature and always agrueing about pointless things and her being curious about dating other people. the one time we broke up she did date someone else for 3 months and i had NC with her during that time. This time was also similar to every other time in that things just didn't seem right and we were both questioning the relationship. she supposedly loves me but isn't 100% sure that we are right for eachother. i also think that her decision to take a break was because another guy started showing interest in her. Link to comment
DN Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Well, that is not good. If she is pursuing some other guy I would not get into a competition. But questioning a relationship is ok - failing to try to find answers is not. Perhaps you both need to try to fix things rather than taking a break - problems and issues cannot be solved by not talking about them. Link to comment
Audi42005 Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 yes we are still young and we have always been very close and able to talk about the breakup. When we have gotten back together , atleast for me, it is because i have always loved her and wanted to be with her. i have my doubts but i do think that we will end up together. I agree and think that NC would be the best because for now and see what happens. Its really hard for me to let go because as of right now i feel that she is what i want in a life partner. thanks for the advice and i will keep you posted Link to comment
DN Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Good luck - I hope all goes well for you. Link to comment
Audi42005 Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 Thats exactly how i feel - i want to try to fix things rather then taking a break, but she has always said that she thinks its the right thing to do and its whats best for both of us. a few weeks before the breakup i was questioning the relationship but i stayed and worked through it rather then breaking up and running away from the problems. Link to comment
The Lonely_guy Posted July 26, 2007 Share Posted July 26, 2007 Audi42005 - I feel for you, similar situation to me and my current gf, i mean similar in the number of break up and time span that you have been together, all i can say is, i know personally myself after being with some 1 that long your mind and your thinking and your feeling automatically move up to the next level. But that is you, not the other party, sometime when you bring up that topic, subttly you scare or put off the other party... Link to comment
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