NiceGuy24 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Well, I'm back with a pretty small problem that has resulted to a big problem. My girlfriend's close friends, hate me. For no apparents reason to be quite honest with you guys. Their main beef is that we spend too much time together, but in reality we see eachother 4 days a week if we're lucky. We're both in high school and all that stuff so it may seem like a lot but it's not. I work like 3 or 4 days a week along with school so doesnt it make sense to hang out on the days that i'm free? Nothing we do, or should i say, that i do is good enough for her friends. Her 2 best friends are basically the only 2 people i have a huge problem with. They both say i control her because i ask of 2 things from her. 1 of them being that she does not drink around other males, and she asks the same from me with females, so i think thats fair. but to them it's ridiculous for me to ask that. And the last is that she doesnt hang out with her ex boyfriend becuase of what he has tried to pull in the past. Which my girlfriend actually voluntarily said she wouldnt hang out with him, but with her friends...it's wrong for her to feel that way. We have been on the verge of breaking up quite a bit of times becuase her friends constantly hammer ideas into her head and eventually it gets to her. I mean if you hear something enough, you start to believe it. They tell her that we're too young to be in love (without a doubt this girl means the world to me)...and that she shouldnt bee seeing me as much as she does. All of that above may just sound like random ramblings, but it's what i deal with on a daily basis. I care way too much for this girl to lose her over this. I've tried time and time again to get along with ehr friends and i always feel that her friends and i are fine but it always isnt according to them. I even take them out to dinner with us, even after her and i made plans for a date. I mean what more can i do? All i'm asking is what should i do about this, ending it with my girlfriend is out of the question but what else could i do to make this easier for my girlfriend and i? Sorry for being so long, i thank you all in advance... Link to comment
Hondadonkey Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I think this happens alot in highschool. It can happen for guys and their friends too. The friends plain old get jealous of the new person in their friends life and they begin to hate them for no reason. There isn't much you can do about this though, other than just tough it out and make sure you treat your woman like gold so she doesnt leave you cus of what they keep telling her. Tough it out highschool doesnt last forever. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 ahh, attack of the green eyes monster. You have to talk to her about it, dont accuse her friends of being terrible people or anything, but just gently ask her about her friends opinions of you and ask if she agrees with them. How do you know her friends say these things? Link to comment
NiceGuy24 Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 ahh, attack of the green eyes monster. You have to talk to her about it, dont accuse her friends of being terrible people or anything, but just gently ask her about her friends opinions of you and ask if she agrees with them. How do you know her friends say these things? I have asked her, and she thinks they are wrong for saying the things she does... and she tells me they say things and when she talks to me on the phone and she's with them i can hear them saying things about me in the background....frustrating Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 very frustrating, totally uncalled for and AMAZINGLY rude. To be honest, its your girlfriends fault for not putting a stop to it. Link to comment
jengh Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I agree with Eva. Your girlfriend needs to tell her friends to knock it off, that she enjoys being with you and they're not going to change it. The fact that she won't stand up for you tells me something about her maturity level. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I agree with Eva. Your girlfriend needs to tell her friends to knock it off, that she enjoys being with you and they're not going to change it. The fact that she won't stand up for you tells me something about her maturity level. yup When you are with someone you stand by them... you dont let your friends bad-mouth them. Link to comment
heloladies21 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I remember telling you a long time ago that the way you handle relationships is wrong. You ignore a lot of the subtle signs that there are underlying problems in the relationship. And you have some insecurities about the relationship, and trust me that she notices. This all has the cumulative effect of getting dumped (again). Why would you not want her to drink around other guys? Are you afraid that she would let one of em make a move on her? If so, then your relationship has a good amount of distrust in it and this type of fracture will expand till it separates you for good. You say you're a nice guy Niceguy24, but really you have a problem being too nice to the point where you don't stick up for yourself enough. If her friends are badmouthing you in front of her and she doesn't do anything about it like defend you, don't you see a problem there? Like if someone badmouthed her, wouldn't you defend her? You would, because you care about her. All of this doormat personality is such a common problem to so many guys in this world. It happens in varying degrees, but the only guys that have successful relationships are the ones who solve the problem. Link to comment
NiceGuy24 Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 Bro, the drinking thing is a mutual thing, she asks of that for me to. So read my posts before you jump to conclusions on the knd of person i am. Second, she does defend me, but like i said before, they dont stop.... Link to comment
TheFoglifter Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I think you ABSOLUTELY need to avoid putting your girlfriend in the middle of this, because she will get incredibly frustrated. Its not easy being pulled between two entities you care about, yet that can't stand each other. As was said before, treat her extremely well. The fact that she has already said she disagrees with her friends is money in the bank. The fact that she has voluntarily agreed to stay away from the ex, and not drink around males is also money in the bank. Ignore the friends as best as you can -- pity them! YOU don't have to resort to such tactics to keep your gf. Isn't it sad and pathetic?!?! When you two are hanging out, and her friends call, do YOU talk trash? No! You don't! Yet THEY feel they have to. Let them shoot themselves in the foot and keep treating your girl like a princess. PS: it is high school and this crap is common. I won't say it gets "better", but it does get more adult. Link to comment
NiceGuy24 Posted March 22, 2007 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 Thanks a lot, this helps a lot. And I'm with you when you say it's not best to put her in the middle of it all, it wouldnt be fair..thanks agian Link to comment
TheFoglifter Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 You're very welcome. One final note: stay confident. You are in a much better position than it seems like. Link to comment
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