Need a little guidence on this one

[evidica]

So after searching my previous posts you will see that I have been uneasy in the past about some things. Well the good news here is that the relationship between my girlfriend and I has only gotten better since. We have been together for four years. She is now 19 and finishing up her first year in college. She wanted me to propose to her as soon as she turned 18 but I never did becuase I was worried about what our friends and her parents would say/think.

 

I finally decided that I was going to propose to her becuase we had been talking about it and I made a decision that I need to think a bit more with my heart than with my head. She was out of town for spring break with her friend for 11 days and we talked on the phone the whole time. I guess on the last 3 days her friend and her were had been hanging out with some guys they met down where they were. I guess they became pretty good friends and what not. Nothing romantic, purely friends.

 

She had talked to this one guy, we will call him Bob. Well Bob had ended a relationship about a year and a half ago with his fiance of which he had dated for 6 years before they became engaged. She ended up cheating on him and basically crushing his heart. Well when she came back from vacation, she was telling me about all of this and how she didnt think she was ready for marriage all of a sudden. I was planning on proposing this Sunday, the 25th. I dont know if I should or not, its not like we are married at that point, just engaged. She even said that she wants to stay together, but doesnt want to rush anything. She also said, she has made the decision becuase she needs to think with her head now and not her heart. I dont know what to do? Should I propose anyway? How should I take this? Should I be worried or should I just work with her?

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hi evidica -

 

Ya know - its MY opinion that you should let her read this or have this exact discussion with her. I think the two of you could work this one out together.

 

Just say what you said here. Let her know where you're at and what you're feelings and thoughts are. I think you are probably more on the same page than you think.

[ghost69]

i wouldn't get married so young. i was very close at your age with a girl about the same age. so glad i didn't. it felt right at the time, but so glad i didn't. i would have probably ruined my life somehow.

[evidica]

why would you say that ghost69?

[AwdreeHpburn]

evidica - I think he's trying to relate but also let you know that the decision he made worked for him and he fears for you - bieng that you are where he was. He feels his decision saved him a mistake.

 

I agree that the wording was.......not the most positive....but ......

 

just tryin' to help!!

[evidica]

I understand, that is why I come here, to get perspectives. Would anyone agree that getting married young isnt a bad idea? I dont hear a lot of young couple success stories.

[ghost69]

young couples is very rare in the success world when they get married. marriage is just a piece of paper that causes much more trouble if a split happens. so many people rush and think that is the thing to do. i'm 27 now and i am so glad i didn't get married. the girl i almost married is engaged now and much more mature. i give her props for being engaged now. she is much more mature and knows what she wants. as do i. back then so much flustering happens. you really don't know who you are when you are so young. i don't think enough experience has happened yet. i would have missed a lot of the things i have done since then. now i am a much better person. just my opinion. not bashing your idea, just trying to save you some grief later.