Feeling Lost and Alone, I need Outside Input

[FeelingLost]

Here Goes.. 'forgive spelling and grammar'....

 

I have been in this relationship for 5 years now, we hardly ever fight, aside from the spat now and then, We have both been faithful.. I am a fool, last night she tells me "She is not 'In Love'" with me anymore, and they she wants to end it.. This caught me totally off guard, as we have had (what I though) of as the almost perfect relationship.. No Kids, Not Married (Choice of Both). She of course says she Loves Me, and it was not my fault, but after this slap of Reality, I realize it is my fault.. Admittedly I am not the most Romantic Guy around, I am not totally UnRomantic, but I am not a full time Romeo. Somewhere along the way I let it slip, and I never saw any of the warning signs.. She said she has been feeling this way for some time now, but its finally come to a head.. I can't lose this Woman.. I don't want to smother her, I wants whats best for her, but I can't help feeling selfish.. I don't know what to do at this point, I have no means to move out immediately, within the month at best, I have no Family Near, 900 miles away, and no friends I would impose on. She has not kicked me out, and is willing to work on my relocation. If I move back home , it fear distance will make the heart grow cold, and not fonder, if this is something she has been mulling over, her heart has already been steeled for this.. I know its best that I pack my stuff, and give her space as soon as I can.. There was no Trying, No Working on the Problems, No Chance to Change, I guess No Communiction.. From what I have read there are some very insightfull posters here.. I need HELP.. Ultimately I would let her go, if that's what would make her happy.. But I don't want to...

 

Any Advice would Help..

Thanks,

FeelingLost

[Jitrenda]

Sweety,

 

If you really love her. Chase her. Don't let her go. You should watch the movie, "The Only Thrill" that is a great movie...it will help you with your dilemma.

 

She may still feel something for you yet. You never know until you try. You know your mistakes and you are willing to work on them. So show her, and if she still kinda says "no sorry"...then give her space and keep in touch with her, alright?

 

I have no idea if the advice i give will work, but good luck if you do try it!

 

*hugs*

 

-jitrenda

[simply complicated]

hey man, i hear your problem, it seems to be going around lots lately, but like jitrenda said, don't let her get away, you've been with her for five years, in my books, that usually means something, if it's romance she wants, give it to her, after five years, a woman would need more love than ever before, shes not just some roomate, shes your soulmate, show her that, this should be a sign for you to start improving every aspect of the relationship, even if it means improving every aspect of yourself, don't give her too much time alone, get on it immediately, talk to her, sit down in a nice quiet place alone, and talk about everything, start by asking her whats on her mind, one on one conversations save relationships, it helps you get in touch with every problem and everything in general, but like i said, get on it now,you don't wanna move out do you, you still wanna be with this woman, then tell her why, and find out why shes feeling the way she is about you, then dedicate yourself to fixing this problem, but don't let her get away that easily, poor your heart out if you have to, she's yours and if you want it that badly, your gonna have to work for it. I could say good luck, but luck has nothing to do with this, it's up to you to make the right decisions, and say the right words, but i think if you want her to stay bad enough, she'll be yours forever...trust me

[Jonathan_in_fl1607306450]

I went throught the exact same thing. Unfortunately without a happy ending. I chased and chased and wooed and romanced but in the end she still left. It makes it so much harder to accept when you pour you heart and soul into it and than they still say no. As hard as it is the best thing you can do is say, " I am still very much in love with you and I will always be here if you need me or want to talk about anything." Than giver her 2 weeks space with NO CONTACT. If she sais she wants to call tell her you will contact her when YOU are ready. Make her think she is really losing something. If she dosent than she knows she can toy with you all she wants. If you chase than she will retreat. Unfortunately htere is not a whole lot you can do to show her that you love her at this point. 5 years she knows everything she has to know - and maybe she will come around. I made the mistake of changing my every behavior to keep the girl I loved but trust me you will grow resentful for having to keep up a constant perfect image. Plus you still catch shit. I know exactly how hard this is - trust me I have lost 22 pounds and I only weighed 175. If it is over than I am truly sorry, but you must brace yourself for that possibility. It is impossible to accept I know but true none the less. It will get alot worse before it gets better. Xanax really helps and I do not ever touch drugs. Do a search for this topic and read what he had to write, i found it very helpfull.

 

Possible reason for not waiting for your EX

 

I feel for you and if you want to drop a line my email is email removed