why can't we take our own advice???

[bear12]

okay, sorry to be posting so much (i hope people don't get annoyed! but this is SO much better than preparing for class! )

 

in any case, obviously this doesn't apply to everyone on this forum, but i was just noticing how some of us who are really, really hurting can yet be so supportive of others and offer really helpful, positive, productive advice.. but yet we can't seem to implement it in our own lives!!! does that seem odd? what's our problem??!!!

[rpare001]

well its definitely easier to give advice than to actually follow it, I would say most everyone here understands its harder to actually do something rather than just talk about it, because for most people change is something that is hard to experience and deal with.

[HDD]

hi bear

i totally agree with you on taking our own advice .... i find it helps me when i try to help someone else by giving them advice. just like when someone tells me things will get better, i believe them more than if i told myself, things will get better.

helping others probably heals the soul and makes one feel like they are not alone in whatever they are going thru.

 

Now, do some HW Bear (just kidding) we will never get sick of you posting here!

[Orlander]

Real happiness and joy comes from helping others. Posting on this forum is about that help you are giving to others and also you are helping to heal your own hearts.

 

Dont think you aren't taking your own advice. Sometimes taking your own advice means stepping outside the box and looking in for a bit before getting back in the box and taking control.

 

Enjoy the view from outside the box. When you are ready to get back in there, you will know. It will be natural.

 

 

Orlander

[scarew]

I know!

 

I think that for some reason we all think that our situation is somehow different from the one that we are advising another about. Often too, when I post advice it is about the past, and well, hindsight is 20/20.

[mintblossom]

it's easy to run our mouths. it's harder to actually move our feet.

 

at least it is for me. i could sit here all day and tell you what i think you should do. but in my mind, i dont think i need to do anything. i think it should all be handed to me on a platter. or at least it would just make life so much easier and simpler if that just happened.

 

to be honest, i dont care about what choice other people are making with their lives. i can tell them to the best of my opinion what i think their options and and which is the best possible course. but i have so many issues of my own that i dont care what other people are going to do.

 

i figure most people are going to do what they wanted to do all along. isnt that true? so i just represent what i really think and feel. and that is my total responsiblity to others. with myself.....so much harder to take any responsiblity.

 

can't i just run away from it all?

[kate111]

I also find that by thinking about other people's predictaments and trying to work out what they should do I am also working out what I should do as well.

 

As well as simply helping people for the sheer love of it.

 

Also, it's easy to KNOW what to do. But actually carrying it out can be very painful.

[ruby19]

Guilty as charged. Trying to spread the love a bit, it helps me to support others and to know I'm not alone. Things are easier said than done, that is true. Helping others work through their stuff helps me, and this board has been a godsend.

[StillClimbing]

Funny,

I am the one in my group of friends that everyone runs to for support and advice. I come off as grounded and wise to them, I guess! I've been told a half-dozen times that I should start a relationship column for the sage words I dispense to those in crisis.

 

But when it comes to my own problems, I'm a big baby and panick over my troubles. I worry, worry, worry and no amount of insight into my situation cannot end my sadness over my break-up for good. I think my problem is that I have developed a habit of being sad and hurt. The future is scary and by letting go of the past, I let go of the memories that were safe and happy.

[lady00]

I wonder the same thing! If I were giving me advice I would say: just forget him and move on. There are plenty of other fish in the sea. If he didn't want you after not giving the relationship much of a chance, it's a sign that things would never work out.