Making sense of it all- the rollercoaster

[kate111]

I go from thinking he is a completely horrible person, to thinking we were incompatible, to thinking I made too many mistakes and was codependent etc. It's like every day a new angle on this or a new memory comes flooding back.

 

Sometimes I feel so angry that I never want to see him again, sometimes so sad I could cry.

 

Is doing this obsession or a normal part of recovery? Am I getting better or should I admit myself to a psych ward?

 

What is normal progress?

[elithepi]

How long were you together and how long since the breakup?

[kate111]

3 years live in.

 

2 months since break up.

[1forthegipper]

Kate,

 

During the stages of a breakup you will go through rough times, you'll think of the good and bad and for the most part you'll be thinking of the good in the early stages of the breakup... Why do we do this?? it's our way of our hearts speaking out for what we've lost and our hearts and brain are NOT communicating at this time. As the weeks go by our hearts start to listen to our brains and they begin to trade back and forth of the good and bad of the relationship and our ex.

 

Soon the scale will begin to tip in favor of you and your feelings and your self worth and confidence. Soon you'll see the relationship for what it really was worth and most of all you'll see that you ex WAS NOT the angel sent from above that you portrayed him or her to be in the beginning stages of a breakup. We all do it and it makes our healing process that much harder because we refuse to see ANY negativity when it comes to the relationship we had and our ex's.

 

Embrace these emotions and understand that it's just another step closer to healing...cry all you can cry, scream all you can scream..do whatever you need to do so that you can exhaust these emotions and get thm out of your system, the sooner you face them the sooner you will heal... Ever been afraid to go to the dentist? when we were younger most of us hated the dentist and we did anything and everything to avoid the dentist...sooner or later we have to go and we may not like it but once we do and the pain is over you look back and think "WOW!!!!..should of done that A LONG TIME AGO!!!".... Same thing with a breakup, if we sit and refuse to face our emotions and accept things for how they are RIGHT NOW then we just prolong the pain..face your fears and emotions and accept what has happened and get over the pain, the sooner the better and you'll be thanking yourself later!!!!

 

Just because you accept things how they are right now doesnt mean it's over with your ex, there is always a chance if you indeed want another chance but the only way you can do this is if you accept it,heal yourself and become stronger so that when you face your ex again you'll be that wonderful,confident,beautiful person they fell in love with in the beginning!!!!

 

 

Tha Gipp

[darkpumpkin]

I believe that any feelings after a break-up are normal. It's what you do with them that helps you heal. Accept them and learn from what your feeling