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Normal Grief: The grieving process

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Grief is a normal process that happens to all us during our lifetime. As we go through life, we go through many types of grief that are inevitable. It is unreal to think that we cannot suffer any loss in our lives. Being prepared for it is the hardest part.


Grief is the response to any type of loss common to man. Most of the unrecognized situations in our lives have resulted in grief that we are not ready to face. We see grief as interfering with our lives rather than it being a part of our lives and that is why when grief occurs, we do not want to accept it which results in the difficult to relate to it as being any part of our daily lives.


As adults, we do not discuss any kind of loss with our children, so when the loss of a loved one happens to the family, the children are unprepared for it and then it may be a little too late to explain that grief is a normal affair. We avoid the subject of death and dying even though this is a mandate in anyone’s life. We want to believe that everything will last forever, which is not the case.


Even when we do experience the death of a loved one and get past the grief, we try to suppress it as if it did not happen and so when we have to go through the same thing again, it is always harder to do so. It is not to say that grief is a learned experience, but we need a support mechanism to show us how to deal with it once it is here because pushing it way will hurt us in the future. Our previous losses not dealt with will make the current loss harder to deal with.


If we treat grief as a normal part of our lives, it will make the grieving process a little easier to accept and help us to be stronger if we have to go through the same ordeal later on. In other words, if we acknowledge the truth that losing a loved one is a possibility and explore the facts through discussion, then grief and grieving will become related to the process of life.


Grief is open ended and constantly evolving from the cycle of life. It is a phenomenon that all of us must face. The truth is that most of us refuse to visit the subject before it takes place. I am guilty of that myself. When my mother wanted to talk to me about what to do if she died before me, I would stop the conversation and tell her that I don’t want to talk about it. Now that we have lost 4 close family members to different types of death, I welcome the discussion so that I can try as best as I can to mentally prepare for such a traumatic event. I am not saying it is going to be easy, but at least, I have an indication that it might.


You might not want to face the unavoidable loss of a loved one, but since it is a possibility, try to emotionally prepare for the aspect of normal grief so you won’t be shocked and deny the facts when they unfold.

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