BF threatens to leave if Ex don't stop calling

[caligurl]

hey everyone

recently i've been getting calls from my exboyfriend. i keep telling him to stop calling but he won't. i love my boyfriend very much, and he is threating to leave if my ex don't stop calling because he thinks i'm cheating on him but i'm not. my ex had cheated on me with my best friend a little over a year ago. and i haven't talked to him since. and now he won't stop calling i have hung up on him, i've yelled at him, i blocked his number, and he still won't stop calling... yesterday he called and said "before you hang up all i want to do is talk to you, i'm sorry i really am i miss you soo much i have never gotten over you." so i hung up then he calls back and just starts calling me names like *** etc... well my boyfriend doesn't believe me at all he works full time so he's barely home, he thinks i'm "secretly" cheating on him with my ex but i'm not... i don't know what to do.... i wish my ex will stop calling i don't want nothing to do with him but he's just annoying. i've have done everything i've blocked his number, i've yelled at him, i just want him to stop... but he won't..what should i do he is ruining my life....

[Bankers24]

First, STOP answering his calls...PERIOD!! Second, get your phone number changed and only give it to those people who will not give it to your ex. Third, it sounds like you have trust issues in your relationship that you need to evaluate.

[Mavis VDSande]

Completely agree! That's what my cousin did - 1. changed her number 2. Reassured her current bf that he could trust her.

 

And now they are totally ok - and the ex is history!

[tictactoe2006]

1) next time he calls, tell him not to call again or you're filing harassment charges. keep a record of the calls (phone bill showing the numbers, etc)

2) send him a certified letter stating the same thing

3) ONE more call, or ONE more letter after that - take out harassment charges.

[blender]

tictactoe is right, take charge of your own life. YOU are in control here, you do NOT have to answer any of his calls. So if he calls again, do NOT ever answer, becaue even "negative yelling or telling him to stop" IS giving HIM attention, so stop yourself from answering any of his attempts at contact.

 

Keep a record of all his calls, and ask your boyfriend to help you in deciding how to handle this.. it's important to make sure you control the part YOU have in all this, by NOT answering any of the exes calls or responding even in a negative way, nothing, no response to any of the exes attempts at contact. This is harrasement on his part, so do not give him the satisfaction of your "anger".. or any attention at all.

 

Or next time he calls have your boyfriend answer your phone and say:

 

"Can I help you, you keep calling this number and I believe you have been repeatedly asked respectfully to NOT call, is there something you don't understand about the words "PLEASE STOP CALLING" that I can help you with? Because we have filed a report, so it's important you no longer make any more attempts at contacting her, do you clearly understand this, if I'm not making it clear enough for you, then you can explain it to the police."

 

The most important thing to remember is that YOU do have control of YOUR part in all this, so start by NOT answering any of his attempts to contact you.. okay?

 

That is the FIRST step to resloving this..it's taking care of YOUR part in all this.. even if you didn't have a boyfriend, you would still have to take some self respecting, and self protecting steps to get this ex out of your life for good.

 

and let your boyfriend know that you will not be answering any more of the exes calls, and you will no longer engage in any contact whatsoever with the ex period. And that you will always let your current boyfriend know what is going on, and "if and when" the ex ever does call...but that you will never respond to any more contact in the future..

 

Take a moment to ask YOURSELF why you even do talk to the ex... why not just ignore him and his calls.. it's obvious that it doesn't matter what you "say" to him regrading "stop".. so just do NOT answer him at all.. right? And take precautions IF he continues to harass you.. keep a record of the calls, file a report, and send him a copy of it.. but first try to just ignore him..have you ever tried just ignoring all of his attempts to contact you?

[Dako]

Ignore him.

When you accidently pick up and realize it's him, hang up.

Anything you say or do encourages him. Once he stops getting anything for his efforts, he'll go play elsewhere.

Yelling at him gives him control. He can call any time and push your buttons.

 

If your BF wants to leave over this minor annoyance, what will he do when you have real troubles? You may consider this a clue to his character. A relationship involves teamwork and cooperation, not threats.

 

If I were you, I'd wonder which guy is the bigger problem.