Insecure boyfriend

[thegoodgirl04]

Hi everyone,

It's been a while since I've been on here but since I'm home due to a tooth procedure and I get great advice I thought I would post this. I've been seeing a great guy for about 8 months now, things are going well but there's one thing, he's insecure and I don't know what I can do to make him feel more at ease.

 

Like everyone, I have some guy friends (who are all married or in a relationship) at work and this seems to bother him, if I say that I talked to "greg" about something I can feel the tension in the air. Sometimes (me and my boyfriend live about 30 miles apart) he says things like did "greg' come over this week (I don't see my boyfriend much during the work week) and when I ask why he says things like that and that "greg' or whatever guy I may mention is just a friend and that he has nothing to worry about he says he's just kidding and is just giving me a hard time.

 

I'm not interested in these other guys they are just friends, and I do not flirt with them or do anything questionable to make him feel this way. He also says that guys never want to be friends with girls the only reason they are is to get in their pants and that's what the guys are trying to do who I'm friends with!! I can't believe he says this since he's 32 (I'm 31)!

 

I guess he was hurt in a past relationship but it needs to stop because it's starting to affect our relationship. I have tried to talk about this to him but it goes in one ear and out the other it seems. Anyone have any advice on how I get my boyfriend to understand that I have guy friends too that are just friends and that he has nothing to worry about? Thanks!

[Biffy]

Well his jealousy can be viewed as a positive in that if he didn't care about the relationship/ you then he would have no need to be jealous. Have you given him any reason to be jealous in the past? All you can do is reassure him that you're into him and nobody else and if it gets to the point that you think it's damaging your relationship to the point that you're thinking of ending it, tell him so.

[InLoveWithAlex]

Hello,

your situation is similar to mine so i can relate to it..

 

first of all i think that to reassure him and explaning to him about.. how these people are only friends is good, to tell him he got nothing to worry about.. and to trust you.. these kind of things..

 

usually guys who act like that been hurted a lot in the past, and he just don't wanna loose you.. and just showing it to you the way he thinks is the right one or he knows..

 

my advice is: do not fall into the pattern where, you will stop talking to your friends because your boyfriend doesnt like it.. it will not be healthy for your relationship.. and you will feel like you are trapped in a cage.. which isnt good..

[FallingTooFast]

I'm in the position of your partner.

I love him to death, and i know that he would never leave me, but there has to be reassurance.

I understand that it makes him upset when I ask, but If i don't ask and don't share my feelings, then he gets mad at me as well.

I haven't asked him to leave his friends, i want him to be happy, but he is willing to for me. That's that I (as well as your partner) need to hear.

I think just explaining how you feel about the situation to him, saying how much you care for him, would help him a lot. Even though you might have to explain it multiple times.

[thegoodgirl04]

Thanks everyone, I have not given him any reason to feel this way, I am very into him an love him a lot. It's helpful to hear your situations. I'm going to try to talk to him about this again, I'm going to also try and be mindful of giving him reassurance.

[ghost69]

well, if my gf had some guy coming over all the time, i'd question it. especially if it was a coworker.