it might just be time to give up

[dreamflyer]

i'll give you a general rundown of where i'm at.

in the weekend, i had a camp thing for search and rescue (a training exercise). I ended being paired up with someone (for conversation sake we will call "K") who i've liked for a couple of years, who also happens to be a very good friend of mine, the sister of my ex (who also happens to be a very close friend, and will call "C"). C knew i like BOTH of them. during the course of the weekend, K and i 'hooked up' if you like.

 

During the weeks leading up to this exercise, K and I got pretty close, and i was during the course of our time together in the weekend going to tell her how I felt, but certain things (i thought) ended up talking for me

 

I talked to K about what happened, and where this left us, and she told me that

1, it was too soon after her previous relationship

2, i would end up liking her more than she liked me

3, she's had number 2 happen in the last one, and she doesn't want to hurt me or go through that again.

 

C, her sister, who i talked to about this said that K was just toying with me during the nights, and also said that K was denying anything at all happened in the bush (bearing in mind these 2 tell each other EVERYTHING)

 

I was crushed, I was crushed not long ago when my dream girl had to leave me to move to uni (who i still cry over most days), and i was crushed by C only 12 months ago. I've been shot down way too much, and i'm sick of being hurt, and coming off 2nd best all the time.

 

i HATE being alone, and because of that, i fall for people HARD and FAST.

 

please please don't tell me ' your young and have lots of time, things will work out' stuff, i've herd it all before.

 

if anyone understands, then please help me. i'm so lost, confused and hurt right now, not to mention still trying to get over someone that only lasted 3 months, and 4 months later still cryin about.

 

arh what am i on about, i don't think this has helped at all...but if you reply, thanks.

[Blue Skittles]

Hey - I used to have trouble being alone too. I used to get into bad relationships that weren't good for me as a result of it. And I too would fall pretty hard, fast. The best thing I ever did for myself was take time to be alone so that I was comfortable and I had my own identity. Now I am a strong independent person (still a lot of work to do here) but I've come along way from what I was in the past. I can tell you it makes dating/relationships a lot easier now because I don't put up with half the stuff I would have in the past. I know one day I will find someone who will treat me right. Find out your hobbies/interests/passions and pursue them. Leave women out of the pic for awhile and if one comes along that you like then pursue it but it is healthy to have your own identity first.

[dreamflyer]

see the thing is, i am independent, i have my own identity, i'm prob one of the strongest people i know (apart from this). i know where i want to go and what i want to do in life, i know what i'm doing next year when i finish school.

 

I just need one more thing to make it complete. I don't just fall for anyone. I make sure that we get on, that we are mates before blah blah blah. it just ALWAYS ends up dying