Does a healthy relationship need to have some conflict?

[This Little Lady]

Yeah plus sometimes the fighting works for people. I know that from my brother.

 

Yeah he was super crazy. You've gotta see his architectural stuff, which I'm sure you already have. I watched a biography of him. I guess his wife was the one who pushed him to become a better artist because she knew he had a ridiculous talent. Dali and Gala I think it was. But yeah he's so weird.

 

One of my other favourite weird artists is Marc Chagall! You should check him out. Not as crazy as Dali but he's definitely crazy!!!

 

Sorry to you folks for getting off topic. I'm very passionate about the arts.

[kmartin85]

No..that was the first thing i learned in all of my psychology classes...fighting is not healthy for a relationship, even once a month..conflicts that come to compromise are though..dont listen to your friends!

[This Little Lady]

What about some fights that come to compromise? I suppose its all just learning to respect one another. But I know what you mean fighting is fighting. I've known others who fight but work through it, and they aren't the type of people who fight continually. So is that considered healthy? When it is a one time argument/fight?

[tmp0620]

You're coworkers don't know what they're talking about... a relationship doesn't need fighting. Conflict will happen, of course, because individual people have different opinions and viewpoints. But nothing in a relationship ever has to lead to a fight.

 

HOWEVER... they might be correct in saying that you and your boyfriend have never had a fight because you're in a long distance relationship. Then again they could be wrong about that as well.

 

You've gotta define what a "healthy" relationship is though as well. I'm a bit of a perfectionist... I wouldn't call a relationship healthy if there was a ton of conflict in it even if that relationship lasted 100 years.

[Daddy Bear]

Argument is necessary. No two people will always agree, and no arguments in a relationship implies domination by one person or the other. However, by no means does argument have to be heated. In an ideal situation, it is calm, civil and rational... much as you describe yours.

[ghost69]

i get into arguments with myself. and yes it is healthy to talk to yourself. if you do it out loud by yourself in a mall or something, kind of creepy.

[golda]

I learned that screaming matches don't work for everybody. I lost someone I love dearly due to a screaming match. I think the way you handle disagreement is excellent and that's what I am learning nowadays. I grew up in a home where my mom is always in conflict screaming match with my dad. It was not pleasant. And that's why dad left too. I think I will do the avoidant/validating method for my relationships..we learned the early behaviors from home..but there's always a way to change and improve.