my parents found out, and i stoped, but im finding it hard to not cut myself again!

[indigo_scar]

good. every day is a step to success. =]

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

yeh, im doing ok at the mo, but yesterday i was out with my best mate who nearly killed her self and was a very bad self harmer, and she made me promise a few days ago not to smoke, so i did then yesterday while we were out she had a fag n gave me one, and we both kinda burnt ourselves on the hand twice with the fags, it hurts loadz more then cutting eva did for me. but we said the burn on our hands was to remind us both not to eva smoke again, coz we both made a promise yesterday that yesterday was the last time we both would smoke, and we are giving up together, and the burn was like to remind us the promise we made to each other!

[indigo_scar]

Im sorry about what happened with your friend, but thank goodness she's still alive. I'm glad that you've both decided to give up smoking! That's fantastic! Every time you are tempted, take a look at that burn and remind yourself how bad it really is. With each other for support, I have no doubt that you'll manage to give up. It's not easy, but I believe in you. You don't deserve the pain you are causing yourself. You are facing in the right direction though. You go girl! =)

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

thnx, and my mate didnt kill her self coz of me i stoped her, then said to her a few days after wards she the only reason im still alive, and that stop her for a lil while, but yesterday she told me if it wasnt for me she would be dead, i was the one who gave her the strength to keep on going!

[indigo_scar]

Wow- now doesn't that make you feel proud! =D Use the strength you gave your mate for you aswell. You kept her going, so you know you can keep yourself going. You two can hold each other up when the going gets tough. You saved her life. Now you can save yours. (which you have begun to do by quitting smoking! well done!) Self harm is no life. Many of us have realised that, and I'm sure you have too. Just out of interest, when was it you last cut?

 

Indigo x

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

ummmm bout 1 and a half maonths ago, i think i cant remember!

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

ummmm let me change my last coment to about 10 mins ago

[girl friend]

Hey there

you ok?

[indigo_scar]

Dont feel bad that you cut again. You went one and a half months- and i mean, how amazing is that?! It's incredible! You can get back on track. This is something i'm currently trying to convince myself of too, but somehow, it is possible. Have faith in yourself. Hope you're doing ok.

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

yeh im ok thnx i only did it twice on my wrist just below my hand, but im ok, it hurts a bit it never use to but never done it there before and i supose it hurts now coz wereas i didnt really know be fore that wat i was doing was wrong but i do know that now so is guilt proabably,

 

at first i did it just for the sake of doing it again but then it turn into coz i was upset bout something, thats never happened before tho!

[girl friend]

it sometimes hurts when you relapse because you were so far in the recovery from self-injury that you lose the tolerance response to pain that self-injurers have. Thats a good sign.

 

You don't need to do it again.

But don't be hard on yourself. Just keep up the good work. And try to handle those emotions.

[Wicked Miss]

Just a question, how does it make you feel when you cut yourself? Some people said on here that it is just to feel pain. I'm wondering though how it makes you feel emotionally rather than physically. Does it feel like a release, does it bring your outside of yourself does it relax you? Cause perhaps there is a feeling there you can get without harming yourself.

 

I know the ice method works. I've tried it for anxiety attacks. It does get pretty painful I'll say. It would be a good alternative even if you may not think so. Are you on any anti depressants? Or have they been recommended at all, I was just wondering if you have looked into any medical methods of helping your depression.

 

I hope you friend is doing better. I think it would be best to tell your parents what is going on, it might help you feel support to stop cutting yourself. I hope you are doing better!

 

Wicked Miss

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

it makes me feel lots of different things.

 

im not on any anti depresenats n no ones recomended the

my parents already know but ill tell u more later coz im in school and need to go

[girl friend]

Have you talked to your parents about it then?

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

yes a while ago when they found out, but that was only about a month and a bit ago!

 

they don't know bout the one i did the other day ago, i am plan not to let them find out because it could make my ill again and i don't want that!

[indigo_scar]

When they knew about it before, how did they react? It might be an idea to tell them that you still feel as you did before. They might be mad or unhappy with the situation, but they will have to face up to it one day. You need your parents at a time like this. They might be able to help you, and support you. Take advantage of the fact that they know you have cut before. However, I know telling someone is terribly hard. I dont feel there is anyone in my life I can actually tell, but if theres someone in your life, perhaps not your parents, pluck up the courage to talk about it. Letting it all out will take a huge pressure off your mind.

 

Indigo x

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

i cant tell my parents, well because they were part of the reason i started in the first place, but only my best mate and my big sister know that, i cant tell them, the only one i can tell is kerry (my best friend) but she has enough to cope with at the moment as shes as a major heart problem and could be dieing and it was hard for her to cope with when she know before as she was doing it as well but worse, so i dont have anyone i can tell, i dont trust anyone else enough to talk about it!

[indigo_scar]

I can see your reasoning for not telling your parents. Often, they are the hardest people to confide with, but the greatest need of support. It must be hard with the situation with Kerry. When you cant talk to the one person you feel you can, it can often feel agonising. You mentioned your big sister knew about it, whats the situation there? Do you ever feel you could trust her enough?

 

Indigo x

[girl friend]

You can talk to us.

Although thats not as good as having a real person in the flesh nearby i know.

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

I can see your reasoning for not telling your parents. Often, they are the hardest people to confide with, but the greatest need of support. It must be hard with the situation with Kerry. When you cant talk to the one person you feel you can, it can often feel agonising. You mentioned your big sister knew about it, whats the situation there? Do you ever feel you could trust her enough?

 

Indigo x

hmmmm my sister, i dunno cant really trust her with it, she said that when they found out last time she said i should of told her she wouldnt of said anything to our parents, but i dont trust her, she never keeps secrets for long and this one is to big to tell her!

i talk to my hamster alot, but some how i dont thing that will help lol!

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

oh n thnx for saying i can talk to u, that really helps alot, just dont know how to say wat i want to say if that makes sense!

[indigo_scar]

Hmm yeh, I can see how it could be risky telling your sister then. You may not think talking to your hamster helps, but I bet it does! Sometimes just talking to something- anything- helps us get things off our chests. I often talk to my friends dog. I've convinced myself it understands me haha. I know it cant, but sometimes its almost reassuring. And im with girl friend, you can talk to us at any time. Thats why I love ENA, everyone is understanding and you can talk about everything freely.

[girl friend]

The only difference really in the effects of talking to a human or an animal, is that the person can put things into perspective for you. The hamster can just listen. IT depends what you need the most. lol

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

lol listening i need the most, i supose thats all my hamster does (his name is cris by the way) but he just tends to bite me when im talking to him and he gets board, or when i go away for a few day he thinks ive forgotten him so he nibbles me the day i get bac in a way its like hes talking to me saying why the hell did u leave me lol, but he always listens, but the cute thing is i think he does understand sometime as if i cry he kinda likes scampers over to me and up my to and sits on my sholder with his nose pressed against my cheek in a sort of way to say dont worry everything will be ok im here, its really cute i love him to bits!

[indigo_scar]

He sounds adorable! It does help to have someone who listens. Even if they can't communicate back. I've always loved animals, because often, they seem like the only ones that will understand. To some people this would perhaps sound strange, but I believe it's true. Animals are not worthless creatures, they are deep meaningful intelligent creatures. Anyway, before I turn this into a rant about how so many people dont appriciate animals enough I'll end it there.

 

I hope you're doing well!

 

Indido x