blackjack_lover Posted March 18, 2007 Share Posted March 18, 2007 OK, I've been here before, and my story is here... if you need background. It's been about a month since she dumped me. I've been doing NC for three weeks. I'm starting to feel better in general, though I still have my days when I'm really sad and miss her.. Anyway, I signed up to Yahoo personals as a way of moving on, and am emailing a few women, but haven't met any yet. It just so happens that the downstairs neighbor of my ex girlfriend was on Yahoo too, and since she knows me, asked me what I was doing there. She didn't know we had broken up. She also told my girlfriend that she saw me. No big deal with the ex that I was looking, as she was the one to initate the break up, but she got upset that I talked to her neighbor, and her brother. I was only asking for advice on how to deal with my ex, and from her brother, background on her dating history. I can kinda see her point, and will appoligize if we talk some more. So, after my ex forwards the email from the neighbor to me, I decide to tell my ex that I'm not going to call or email her or anyone she knows again. My girlfriend writes back saying "she's sorry to hear that, and was hoping we could be friends". Now, I've had a few relationships go bad, and the offer to be friends is not usually comforting. I know it's an easy way to let you down without totally crushing you......... So, I didn't get too excited. Fast forward three days, and I think, what the heck, I'll test the waters and invite her out for drinks, or a pic-nick tomorrow. I called, was very upbeat and pleasant, and asked if she wanted to get together for drinks. She said she had plans, so I said OK and I start to say good bye. She says "whoa, talk to me a little, tell me what's going on, and invite me out again" So, to my question, ........ Since both people get "confused" sometimes around breaking up, and say things they may not mean.... Is asking to be friends sometimes, a way to open up the door to getting back together? I'm not saying I will get back together if she wants to, or I won't, or if that is even a possibility in her head. The good news is, I don't feel the need to get back together. I know there was a lot of good there. Starting over with someone new brings no guarantees, so I could do that and end up back here next year. I WE did decide to get back together, something would have to change the pattern of breaking up and getting back together. Maybe a change of meds for her, seeing a doctor about her mood swings, or just better communication skills for both of us.... I'm trying to hold my hope, and feelings in check. Any thoughts? Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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