Not Enough

[Blue Skittles]

I have to admit, I am a woman who is searching for that dream. I have a lot going for me and just want to get to that point with someone, marriage, a house, kids, etc.

 

At the same time, I'm just having fun. I started dating this guy last week. I met him online, things happened so fast. We just 'clicked'. We started talking on the phone right away and he told me how many times how he felt he had this "connection" with me and I felt the same. We met in person and it was amazing between us. He told his mom about me. I'm not kidding. He phoned his mom during our 2 day date (yeah it lasted 2 days) and told her how much fun he was having and how i was such a great girl. I didn't sleep with him, I told him i wanted to wait until I knew it was right.

 

So, there are already plans for a second date. He lives out of town. There are plans for a third date. He wants to take me to meet his parents for Easter. He calls everynight, and if he can't call he asks me to call.

 

At the same time, he is still on the online dating site. He changed his pictures on there. And at the beginning, he was really sweet-talking it up, now there is no sweet talking AT ALL. We just basically talk about how our days went and at the end of the call he says he'll call tomorrow and he always does but we're just talking like friends.

 

So, I'm not sure what to think. I don't want to rush into a relationship or anything like that with him but at the same time now that the sweet-talking has disappeared i just don't know what is going on.

[hol234]

Dont Trust Him!!

[Shiva 2007]

what does your heart or gut tell you? If you are feeling any insecurities I would go with your gut instinct, it seems that women have an incredible sensitivity to what may seem not quite right. I would go extremely slow, the good news is that you haven't slept with him. So why not start dating other men, perhaps you will notice that some other men wil treat you with the respect you deserve.

[friscodj]

i just don't know what is going on.

 

I think its time you slammed on the brakes, pulled over, sat down just the two of you, and had a serious face-to-face "what the hell is going on here?" talk. Address everything you wrote in your post here. You guys are flying down the Autobahn at Mach 2 with the top down and champagne flowing here! Or at least he is...or was...

 

We could speculate on this six ways from Sunday but the real answer is going to come from him in time. And don't rely on everything he says either. Watch his actions, body language, and most of all, trust your judgment. Dig into this with some serious questions about his life, his recent past, etc...

[Blue Skittles]

The only thing is - I don't want to have the "what is going on talk" cuz this is so new and i don't want to freak him out. I am enjoying his company, well at least i was. lol. I think I really fell for the sweet-talking stuff and now I'm just kinda like - "ok this guy is kinda boring"

 

This is my biggest concern. Its ok that hes still 'looking around' as we are not in a committed relationship to each other. Its been one date. The concern is that why would he go through all the trouble of treating me like a princess, spending tons of money on me, giving me his fave hockey jersey, telling his mom about me, calling me every single night, if he was still looking?

 

I've decided that I'm going to keep dating other guys too. I don't see why I should put all my eggs in this basket. something just seems a little off.

[Bankers24]

He sounds exactly like my EX-husband. Notice the EX part!! I would not trust this guy...he sounds like a player. He lives out of town??? BAD IDEA..He is probably dating other women too. Please just don't tell me he is a pilot because then I would think you are with my ex-husband...LOL!! WATCH OUT is all I have to say about this one. He will end up being a liar, a cheat, and an all around bad person. He is trying TOO hard!! Easy come, easy go.

[DN]

I think that people are really going overboard about this guy. You are not a couple, nothing is official and there is no reason until you agree to be couple that he should not see other women - or you see other men. People are acting as if you are engaged or married to him.

 

Why not just continue to date him, and other people if you wish, and see how things progress? I don't know what the 'sweet-talk' consisted of but it is fairly hard to maintain that for long and sound genuine. The lack of it does not necessarily mean he is no longer attracted - it could mean exactly the opposite and that he feels the relationship is progressing.

 

My advice is to relax and see what happens. You only starting seeing hiim last week.

[Jayar]

I'd just pull back a little and see if he comes to you... As in, definitely don't be available every night for him to talk to you! Get out there and do stuff with and for yourself, girl! Heck, answer the phone maybe 1/3 of the time, don't talk more than about 10 minutes before you tell him you have to go cuz you've got stuff to do, and keep him (and this whole thing you've got going on) in perspective.

 

If he isn't into you, he won't put in the effort. And then he was no big loss. DEFINITELY don't have a talk. I mean, unless you want to also wear a big red sign that says "I think that what we have is serious, and I am HOPING that you think what we have is serious. Please say that what we have is serious?!" LOL It really sucks then when he doesn't say that he thinks what you have is serious.

 

Whether he's genuine or a sweet-talking player, it'll all come out. Just keep your cool, be polite and sweet but don't let him have you under his thumb, and things will work out the way they are supposed to. Que sera sera!

[blemished]

Why would he go through all the trouble of treating me like a princess, spending tons of money on me, giving me his fave hockey jersey, telling his mom about me, calling me every single night, if he was still looking?

 

Um, because he may be CRAZY? I've met his twin before. Just, uh, keep on dating other people and keep this one at an arm's length. Anyone over the age of 17 who goes that crazy over someone they just met usually has done it before, and will do it again...in another month, to someone else. It's called he is craaaaaaaaazy= insecure and needs to use other people to feel validated about himself/his own worth, by making someone else really like him. (Shakes head.) You are smart to be creeped out at this point.

[Batya33]

Some people tend to get a little ahead of themselves when they first meet someone and let it all hang out i.e. instead of being a litte careful and waiting to get to know the person. Heck, I've been asked my ring size on a first date, been told that certain cars going by were "signs" that we were meant to be, etc. I listen to it the way you listen to sweet music that has little substance. I watch the feet - what he does - not the lips - what he says. And I watch this over a period of months, not days.

[Blue Skittles]

This guy - is definitely crazy. After all the sweet-talking and stuff, it stopped. and hes made it very clear that he still wants to see other people. Oh but doesn't hesitate to keep calling every night. I'm seriously not going to pursue this one any further - he really is a nutcase. and not just because of what happened but i actually found out some info from my friend who's aunt knows him and what he's all about. Hey, at least I got a free Pisani jersey out of the deal. YeahhH!!!!!

[Batya33]

That is why I advise taking things at a reasonable pace in the beginning - not calling every night, seeing each other no more than once or twice a week - that weeds out those who just like the sweet talkin' thrill o' the chase.

[ghost69]

i don't call girls every night. only an exclusive gf. when a girl calls me all the time, i don't answer all the time. it just saturates the relationship if it is new.