My ex's best friend is in love with me

[sunday13]

I have posted before in the breaking up section, but now there is a new twist!

 

My boyfriend and I broke up on New Years Eve. He broke up with me not because of anything I did, but because he thought I deserved better. (We both graduated college last spring. I got a job, he didn't... he basically was depressed and felt worthless...he thought he needed to figure himself out on his own, even if that meant losing me.) All of his friends told him he was making a mistake... many of them thought we would get married one day. Just a few weeks prior to us breaking up, my ex told his friends infront of me what kind of wedding ring he'd like to get for us if we got married one day. (He NEVER mentioned marriage to any of his girlfriends before!) We got along so well... above everything else, we were friends. We laughed all the time, couldn't keep our hands off each other.... I cannot speak for him, but I was very much in love.

 

It has been almost 3 months now. His best friends come to town everyday because he has a serious medical condition that requires daily treatment. My ex lives an hour north, his best friend lives an hour south. I see his best friend about once a week. His best friend came up for my birthday dinner and paid the entire $300 bill!

 

Recently it has been revealed his best friend has fallen for me.

 

Argh!

 

To make matters even more complicated, the best friend is still married but getting a divorce soon. His wife had cheated on him a few years ago with multiple people while he was battling a life-threatening illness in the hospital. He found out last summer and gave his marriage a year to salvage. His wife told him six months ago she didn't love him anymore and never would. Then, he got his life-threatening illness again and she decided to stick around out of guilt. In the meantime, turns out, she has been banging her pastor.

 

Now, he is facing a potentially terminal illness and his wife is on the sidelines not caring what happens.

 

I would have gone for the ex's best friend had I known him a few years ago before I met my ex. But, I am still in love with my ex. He doesn't want me. My ex's best friend is infatuated with me, but he is still married, would never cross the line with his best friend...on top of that, he may die within a year.

[BetterKarma]

First of all, I'm sorry to hear that you are having such a confusing time. It must be really emotionally distressful right now. However, what you said at the end pretty much sums it up:

 

But, I am still in love with my ex. He doesn't want me. My ex's best friend is infatuated with me, but he is still married, would never cross the line with his best friend...on top of that, he may die within a year.

 

You're still in love with your ex. Its too soon to jump into any relationship regardless of the person's health. You have to be selfish of your own emotional and mental well being. Heal your heart first and when you're ready try on another relationship.

 

As for your ex's best friend. He's still married. Period. End of story. Doesn't matter whether or not he's infatuated with you or how sick he is. I know that might sound cruel but you do not need to involve yourself with a married man at this point or any point of your life.

 

He is terminally ill, be his friend and spend time with him but it doesn't have to be romantic. You can support him and be his listening ear whenever he needs it. Good Luck!