feel so frickin' guilty - Tuition Costs

[mintblossom]

so i could have graduated university along time ago with better grades and gotten a better job by now. however, in my early twenties i got into an abusive relationship. what happened was that....i began to lose who i was, my soul, my mind, everything about me felt like it was erased in that time period. i lost my goal, my dreams, my emotions were SO UNSTABLE. i was bouncing up and down the walls on a cycle everyday......it was awful. i tried going to school then but got F's or had to withdraw, spent thousands of dollars. and the thing is.......then i truly could not see what i was doing to myself. i was spiraling into a black hole and i didn't see anyway out.

 

then i got out of the relationship. away from him, i started to feel better and better....day by day....better and better. until i started a real job for the first time in my life! after time passed, i started to try and go back to school. now i have resigned up for university classes for summer. OMG, IT IS SO EXPENSIVE.

 

i feel a tremendous amount of guilt and depression over the time i wasted in the past, the money i wasted in the past, the missed opportunities......i am feeling so guilty because my classes are a couple thousand dollars this summer, and also a couple thousand more in the fall. FRICK. i feel so bad that i wasted time and money in the past and have to spend even more money now.

 

yes, it's my own money that i will be spending......but that doesn't make me feel that much better. i feel guilty and rotten. i feel like giving up on school but i know i can't. so i just live with the pain of all that money......gone in a flash. tuition costs. SOB.

[pinksheep]

When you eventually graduate and get a good job, it will be worth it in the end. You will more than make up for what you've already spent. No sense in kicking yourself now for mistakes you've made, all you can do is learn from them, and I think you're beginning to. Best of luck!

[Hope75]

Hey There,

 

It sounds like you were in a really bad place when you were enrolled in university last time. That can happen to the best of us. But it also sounds like you have made ALOT of positive changes in your life since then-- you left the guy, got a good job, and are going back to school.

 

I think you need to cut yourself some slack. Yes, tuition is expensive, but heck, it's only money. The important thing is that you got out that bad relationship and you are giving it another go. You are not the first person to fail the first time you try--what's important is that you've gotten back up and are trying again.

 

Be proud-- you should be, you are doing great.

[rocio]

Don't feel bad about the money. If you hadn't "wasted" it on tuition, you would have spent it on something else. What matters in the end is that you're able to accomplish your goals. It sounds like getting that degree would give you a real sense of achievement and accomplishment. Stay strong! You've gotten through the hardest part (getting rid of loser).

[Aleadragonhawk]

I think in this situation, what you have to do is concentrate on what's happening now. If you dwell too much on your regrets about the past and how much you're putting into gaining an education, that can wear you down. The last thing that you want is to get so depressed and angry at yourself over the past that you essentially sabotage your success in the present.

[Jetta]

It's only going to go up, so return when you're able (and if that's now then go). Focus on getting good grades and complete your course of study. I'm not even looking at the cost (okay not totally) right now. I just want to get into a program I'll enjoy and complete.

[RayKay]

Tuition is one of the best investments in yourself you can make (as long as you don't waste the time!).

 

I went back to school this past fall, and my tuition is $10,000ish a year plus living costs of course and books. It hurts.....but it is more affordable than many other schools still! My undergrad was less...$5-6,000/year.

 

Anyway, money is very tight, loans bite...but in the end it will be something I do not regret at all.

[fredthebread]

Guilt has to be the most useless emotion. If you did something wrong, take positive action to redress what you did, don't sit around destroying yourself over it. It sounds to me like you are doing just that, you are taking positive action to redress what you did, by resigning up. Jez, if we all sat around feeling guilty about the stuff we did and the chances we wasted in our early twenties, we would need a lot more forums Things happen in their own good time. It took me six years to get my undergrad, because of crap and heavy drinking to cope with crap. It then took me another 3 years to get a job with that qualifications. There are guys, 7yrs younger than me at the same rank as me. I could sit around getting bitter and angry with myself and cruel life. Our just say f%^& it, this is what god or jehovah or allah or whoever decided was going to be my life and so be it. The race is long. You may have fallen behind academically, but I am willing to bet you learned some valuable lessons from the mistakes you made and you will be able to put that to good use some day, even if its just being able to advise your kids. Life is the sum total of our experiences, not just the mistakes!