flyingspaghetti Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Okay, everyone, I am very desperate. *hangs head in shame* This is quite a lengthy post, so if you are willing to sit through and read this in its entirety and are willing to attempt to help me, then I appreciate your patience. I want to know what the majority of people's secrets are for socializing and actually getting others to talk or click with you. I am especially trying to date guys, but I keep coming into dead end corners. I have had no luck lately. I am not trying to compete with anyone, but I do surely am ready and willing to partake and put myself out there. However, I seem to fail horribly with this. I don't get it. I do not know what it is I am doing wrong. I try and smile and even try to act friendly towards guys, and I see that most of the time, they do not smile back or show interest. It seems only much older men (who I am not interested in) are the chattiest. Why is that? What do you younger guys want when seeing a female? Are you looking for personal appearances or physical looks before you decide to approach a female? Are you THAT picky and decide to not approach a girl who is NOT hot? As far as it goes for me, I am not that good at styling my hair into nice hairstyles, so I can wear nice clothes. The only thing that I find physically awkward about me is that my hair is always in the same boring style. It's either down with me wearing a headband or up on a half ponytail with two bobby pins holding up the hair in the side of my temples. Booooorrrrrring! I mean, I would say I am average (I'm not a dog nor am I a hot girl), but it does break my heart when I go to a coffee house or even see in classrooms/computer labs how the guys tend to talk/socialize more with other girls. It could be that I am shy and quiet and keep to myself, but there are times I spread myself out in a coffee house or something just to show that I am not "always" closed up. You know...to make myself approachable, but that doesn't seem to work. What else does that make me feel? I feel nothing more than merely an ugly duckling. In late February, I attended a "game night" at a Barnes & Nobles and saw this cute guy who worked there. He was in charge of the game night that evening, so we talked a bit. Then, he told me he remembered me from my job! He's taking a couple of multimedia classes, and we talked about them. I was ecstatic thinking that he was interested in getting to know me. Even if it's just chit-chat at the moment, I figured it was a good start. He then got two other co-workers to join in on the game night because I was the only customer. It seemed like he talked less to me when these co-workers joined us. I felt left out. I saw him at work, but he never greeted me or anything. I just thought, "Damn....figures...things NEVER work out well for me." How sad. What could've gone wrong? Did I do something? Is it my appearance? Or...??? He was so chatty with me when I first arrived. And, this isn't the first time. I know a guy from a coffee shop/restaurant who is now working at another coffee house. We know each other by face (I know his name, but I don't think he remembers mine), but that's all it is... Just talk...talk...talk. I don't wanna ask him to hang out because I keep hearing that guys hate persistence, and I don't wanna look stupid or even scare him off. UGH... In other words, why wouldn't you just give a chance to go UP to a girl like me? We are not HOT, but we do try our best to take care of ourselves. Do you like HOT hair, or??? If you don't give us a chance, then how are you supposed to get to know us? I can be a lot of fun. I am human. I have goals, I have dreams, I want companionship, I am open to new experiences, I like to talk, I like to watch movies, etc. So.... Great, now I am feeling teary-eyed. Now, I don't want to read posts by people saying, "That's why I don't go out in public or meet people" or whatever. I am not asking for personal opinions. I am just looking for suggestions or hints or secrets in dating/looking for a guy. And, I don't buy that whole "it'll take time" or "when you least expect it." I am rather picky, and I don't want some old 60-year-old man looking for me or even an 18-year-old guy finding me. *shudders* Any suggestions? As many suggestions to hanging out or even finding a guy would be awesome. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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