Uh oh he came back....no one is happy about this but me.

[darkpumpkin]

Curiouse: I broke with my ex a week and a half ago. I took sometime in that week to think, to learn, to read. I realized many things and was moving on quite nicely. Well ex came back and we are going to give it another shot. Even after everyone I know says I'm a fool.

 

Which I may be but I believe things will be different and if not I'm willing to take the consequences with an open heart.

 

I guess I want to say thank you first to all ENA and to ask. Have you ever gotten back with someone despite everyone telling you your better off. lol including ENA?

[Jayar]

You will do what you want to do, and we at ENA (and also hopefully your local in-person friends and family) will be there when you need support again.

[darkpumpkin]

Jayar I love what you have written as your tag.........

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

You have to do what feels right. There is nothing wrong with taking another shot, as long as you both work together at improving things. I wish you all the best and of course, you have us to support you no matter what.

[darkpumpkin]

You guys are awsome. I guess that really is the meaning of support. No matter what a person chooses they feel they need to do to have people support you is so important.

[kellbell]

That is all we can do, we cannot tell you how to live your life, all we can do is be there. You have to do what you feel is right in your heart.

 

Your friends are only worried about you and want the best for you.

[Boughs]

As long as you believe you are emotionally stable, and you believe that you will be stable with him, I'd say go for it.

 

I for one, am one to not go back to my exes... we just don't have the connection.

 

Careful of the "we broke up once, I can do it again" situations... that is a threat, and threats suck.

[JoeWho]

- Who knows it might work out this time.

 

Best of luck to you!

[darkpumpkin]

I definatly do not think "oh we did once we can do it again" The best way for me to describe it was we both started driving side by side and something happened, we started playing bumper cars and eventually we crashed. With this week that passed I really looked at what I was doing "behind the wheel" and what he was doing. I guess I just want to see if done different we stay on track. lol and if not more lessons have been learned!!!! yay lol

[hockeyboy]

have you discussed what your problems/issues were that led to your breakup in the first place? and how have those been resolved?

[darkpumpkin]

We have talked. We both saw what we did and what we were doing to each other. I made it very clear what I was looking for and that if that's not mutual then there was no point even talking. We really got to the bottom of a lot of things and I explained that as soon as I become unhappy/stressed out about our relationship as I was before I will be calling it quits. I have to say even after only a week I learned, I grew. I accepted my heartbreak and I did not for one second try to hold on like I had in the past. I took the pain as an experiance and I re-evaluated how I act and what I want. I even after that I still wanted to try just one more time with this one.

[Akatea]

Have done here. We have actually broken up twice. So I guess the saying third time lucky is true sometimes. Cause we are better now than we have ever been before...

[Wandering_Sword]

Good luck to you both! I say take the chance, you only live once (not if you're a Buddhist) so that way you'll never have any regrets. Phooey to the naysayers. Just remember, communication and observation is what is needed on the second or third (?) try.

But I am very happy that you are getting this opportunity. Yah!

[darkpumpkin]

Thanks. I wonder though still do old habits creep back and can you really stop them from coming back? hmmmmm

[Akatea]

Of course old habits are hard to break. But you BOTH need to make conscience efforts to change those "bad" habits and turn them into good ones. Getting back together is not to be taken lightly. It needs to be two sided, and there has to be so much patience and understanding and learning to trust again. Especially if there is fear that the SO could turn around and just break up with you again...

[Wotgorilla]

Old habits only come back if someone lets them come back. If both people are committed to each other, to working hard, to communicating openly, then you have every chance that it will work out. In my case, I gave 1,000% during the last go round with my very on again, off again ex (6 months was the best we could do in a year and a half) and treated her like gold (and I mean 18 Karat here), but she was so wrapped up in her own world, needs, wants, and desires that she never realized nor cared in me or what I needed out of the relationship. I was only as good as the most recent thing I did for her, but if I made a mistake, man did I hear about it!

 

Moral of the story, make sure you're both on the same page, and communicate, no matter what you're feeling!

[anggrace]

I recently took my ex back as well. I know my family and friends think Im not really happy w/him, but they support me none-the-less. I don't know if I did the right thing, how do you know? I think time will be the only thing to tell.

[Batya33]

Commenting on what you said about friends being supportive. If you don't ask for advice then being supportive means respecting your decision and not giving unsolicited advice. However, it seems like you are asking for advice at points on here and in that case, I don't think that being supportive necesarily means advising you that it's a good idea. Rather, being supportive sometimes means being the friend to be brave enough, once she is asked for advice, to tell her friend that what she is doing is harmful to herself.

 

Am I correct that you asked for advice but didn't want to hear any advice that wasn't supportive of you giving this another shot?

[papalazarou]

My own thought on this is that your friends are looking out for you. They want you to be happy - they probably saw that you were unhappy with him. They probably can see that you are alot happier now that you have reconciled or at least taking steps.

 

The good thing about friends is they will be with you no matter what. I know that it if I did reconcile with my ex (no chance really) but if I did they would of course advise caution after what happened "last time" but they want YOU to be happy and if that means reconciling then so be it!

 

Good luck. The trouble is with todays "disposable" lifestyle realtionships also go the same way, there is no harm in reconciling as long as its what you both want.

[ImThatGirl]

DarkPumpkin -

 

Meant to chime in yesterday but was doing much thinking about my "got back together" story.

 

I just want to say - BE careful with your heart. I like to say I "believe" in people. But I'm not sure if it's that as much as my "hopes" that people can change and are willing to change......

 

We are all here to support you no matter. Try not to be upset with your friends if they aren't highly supportive. Chances are, they picked you up when you were down.... And will always love, worry, and care about you.