TheFoglifter Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 At first, it would be somewhat of an ego boost that someone else is interested in my gf. How it goes from there depends on all parties involved. I agree that if (like was said before) the gf started saying "johnny offered to do and for me, which you NEVER do" then I would start to feel quite annoyed. I would certainly retort by saying something like "well gives her boyfriend sex 3x/week, so are you going to do that for me?" Then it depends on the guy: if he likes her from afar but knows that he doesn't have a chance, then thats more tolerable than if he acts like a vulture always trying to take advantage and separate us. I've been quite successful with the strategy of always getting friendly with all of gf's male friends. I make them into mutual friends. This is the only action that won't cause a huge rift. Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 ITG... Ok.....you have been posting about this guy for a while now.... and with or without MySPACE..it just seems like too much work with this guy. The MySpace drama might just be the "straw" that broke the camels back. I am just trying to be honest with you in saying... MAYBE...just MAYBE this relationship is not right for you. Doing all the bending over backwards, and cartwheels, and saying the right things does nnot ultimately change the fact that you are not right for each other. From everything you have written here, and in previous threads.I think going back to this relationship was not a good decision on your part... simply because you just do not sound content..OR happy. In your threads when you were apart, you seemed SO much more alive...and even happier. I don't know....ultimately it is YOUR choice.....but I think you deserve to be in a stable relationship with someone who WANTS to be there. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 15, 2007 Author Share Posted March 15, 2007 I've been quite successful with the strategy of always getting friendly with all of gf's male friends. I make them into mutual friends. This is the only action that won't cause a huge rift. I have become friends with many of his friends. She is one that I can't imagine her welcoming friendship with me. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 15, 2007 Author Share Posted March 15, 2007 Thank you (sincerely) LadyBugg. I respect your willingness to speak your mind even though it's clear I have went a different direction. To an extent, I agree with you and continue to think of whether I did / am doing the right thing or not. I have honestly been thinking about how good I felt just a few weeks ago. (as you noted above.) I have been hesitant to post about him or my relationship because I know that all of this is hard to understand or may make no sense at all. I can say that things have been very different. Almost like we finally found a middle ground. In many ways, I have felt much better in the past couple of weeks than I did when I was single. Life has been good. I have honestly felt good, continued to focus on my children (we went to the children's museum last weekend,) and keep a smile and positive attitude. But again, to reiterate, I completely understand where you are coming from. And times like this (when I heard that song,) I really begin to think on the same page. Link to comment
TheFoglifter Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 I'm sure its different depending on gender -- its probably easier for guys to befriend male friends of the gf than it is for females to befriend female friends of the bf. If it doesn't work this time, just let it go. You set your boundaries, and if he doesn't respect them then he isn't the guy for you. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 I don't think it's myspace - I think it's the type of person who enjoys getting a lot of attention from members of the opposite sex even when he/she is in a relationship - myspace just makes it easier and more "in your face" (which almost rhymes with myspace) to see that side of the person's personality, which is a side that is inconsistent with being in an exclusive relationship. Those are the same people who enjoy going to bars and clubs and dancing suggestively or flirting even when they are in a relationship. No difference. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 I went through the same thing I turned up at his house one day, walked into the lounge and they were curled up on the floor together... I went ape (as ya do) but it turns out they were drinking, he passed out and she curled up with him, hoping I would find them like that. He ended up cheating on me with her anyways tho. I dno, he needs to talk to her about it. "in your face" (which almost rhymes with myspace) BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA -snort- wicked! Link to comment
sophie274 Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Hey Imthatgirl, I liked the story RayKay shared. If I were you, I would wait to calm down a bit and then have a talk with your boyfriend. Present your feelings an "organized" manner, and tell him what you would like him to do with this friend. (My personal suggestion would be to tell her that he is in a relationship with you, does not appreciate the disrespectful comments she makes about you/the relationship and that he would like to remain friends but only if she stops those comments.) If he can't see how you feel, or agree with you on a course of action ... I think that says a lot about his commitment to the relationship. To me, it is very clear that she is being flirtatious and disrespectful, so much so that if he were to protest when you complain I would find it hard to believe in his good faith. As others have said, if he is not willing to make you a priority now (especially over a "friend" he rarely sees!), when will he? Hopefully you can have a calm conversation with him and resolve the issue. Link to comment
SummerGirl38 Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Well that song just changed my whole opinion, I'm glad you added it I WOULD BE TICKED!!!. One thing that is sticking out in my head is the fact that you were together and he blew her off, got rid of his my space account because of the drama.. then you break up and he's friends with her again.... Do you think it could be that he enjoys her attention if you are not around? or... He might of needed a friend after your break-up?. Grrr, I've dealt with this before and I am actually getting fired up here for you. I would politely tell him that he needs to tell the b to beat it on no uncertain terms if he wants to continue his relationship with you. I am a woman, and this is exactly why I don't have too many female friends, WE ARE THE RUTHLESS SEX! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 15, 2007 Share Posted March 15, 2007 Well, I think the problem is that he is not doing that on his own. As for your generalizations about women, luckily in my experience that is entirely false. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 16, 2007 Author Share Posted March 16, 2007 Thank you very much, Everyone! I sincerely appreciate your thoughts and time you took to give me your thoughts and advice. Last night, I asked him to listen to the song. And basically stated my opinion and how terribly rude I think she is. I didn't make any demands. But told him that I wasn't fond of him having a friendship with her. He suggested that the song could be about any of the guys that she chases after. He has a good point but still... Anyhow - - - all the other points, about how we are possibly (most likely) just not a good fit.... I thought about alot last night. And will definitely continue to think about! On a more positive note, my son and I went out and got his baseball gear last night. He'll be 7 in June. He's played baseball since he was 4. But this year he needed a bigger mit. Bigger cleats (!!! Size 2.5 - that's with a pad in the back so you buy a bigger size, the last through 2 sizes.) But still! 2.5! Nooooo! He needs to stay little! I also got him a new shiny blue helmet and a baseball bag. WE CANNOT WAIT FOR BASEBALL SEASON! He's going to a baseball camp Sat and the season starts in a few weeks! Woohoo! (Okay completely off topic... sorry!) Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 16, 2007 Author Share Posted March 16, 2007 Just have to tell you your post made me smile. There's nothing worse than a girl that chases after a guy when he's in a relationship. Wait - maybe there is = A guy that doesn't bluntly state the attn is unwelcome! Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 16, 2007 Author Share Posted March 16, 2007 Everyone else, I loved all of your posts too. Puts warmth in my heart and lots of smiles on my face! Thank you! Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted March 16, 2007 Share Posted March 16, 2007 You're most welcome! That's what we're here for! Good luck in baseball season! Link to comment
Lady Bugg Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 ITG....It makes me smile when you talk about your kids......you are a great mom You should feel proud... Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 that girl wouldn't be my gf. she would probably find herself single a lot. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 ITG....It makes me smile when you talk about your kids......you are a great mom You should feel proud... Thank you so much Lady Bugg! I truly do appreciate it. I talk about them and we have such a wonderful bond and fun times together - much more than I post about on here. They are the amazing ones! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 always willing to help. i don't put up with women like this. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 Alright - I have a smile on my face as I type this. Please specify what "women like this" means. I'm truly interested. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 always willing to help. i don't put up with women like this. Please specify. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 if my girlfriend was like this guy, i would be gone. i wouldn't have ever put myself in a situation like this. especially if she joked and laughed about it. this would be a big peace out from the ghostman. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 that girl wouldn't be my gf. she would probably find herself single a lot. Thank you, Ghost! As always, I appreciate your input and advice! I have to admit: I briefly forgot the way I worded the first post. When you said, "that girl," I thought you meant me, "I'mThatGirl." Thank you much for your advice and clarification! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 sure. no problem. most people ask me why i wouldn't do things like this. i just stay away from those situations when i see them. it avoids so much stress that i don't need. girls like that wonder why they don't have a bf and have relationship troubles. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 You know, you just jogged my memory. And even though I'm positive it's never been completely reflected here, there once was a day when I'd run as fast as possible before dealing with such drama and complications. Then I decided I'd put as much effort in as needed to make a relationship successful. Reason being that everyone said I was toooooo picky. Oh the life! Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 that isn't picky. lol. that is keeping drama away from you. nothing wrong with that. i don't date women who already have kids. is that bad? no. it's just something i don't need. Link to comment
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