Ladies, do you act distant/different toward your man the day after a guys night out?

[Box Diver]

This has become a pattern.

 

Whenever I go out on a guys night out (once every 2-3 months), my girlfriend always acts different. She won't answer my calls (she will call back much later, and be very short with me), acts uninterested on the phone, etc.

 

It's strange. I'm sure it happens....as it's not paranoia....because it happens EVERY time there is a guys night out.

 

Granted, yes, we are heading out to bars....and yes, I'm in a decently sized city so I'm sure she's aware there are tons of women dressed up all pretty.

 

Do you act like this at all toward your man when he has a guys night out?

 

And let's assume you can't use the answer "well then I have a girls night out," because my girlfriend isn't a heavy drinker...and rarely goes out with friends.

[Hayles]

HAHA!!!!!!!! YES!!! I do, I'm a cow... I know... but I do it!

 

It's not on purpose, but I am aware of it... I suppose I get a little hurt and feel a bit jealous or something... with us it's because I really don't have a life outside of him - I work with him and at the end of the day I am at home with my son. I only socialise with friends via telephone. I know it's my choice to live that way, but I still feel a little annoyed when he plays two sports per week, plays poker once a week and then goes drinking with the boys on the weekends... I wonder who is talking to, whether girls will flirt with him and whether I'll ever truly find out what went on....

 

I am a pretty insecure girl at times though

[Batya33]

Many years ago, when I dated men who found it fun to go out and get very drunk at a bar or a club with "the guys" I might have acted differently the next day because I wasn't intersted in hearing the war stories about who got the most wasted and what they did while they were wasted - after I turned 18 or so those stories were deathly b-o-r-i-n-g to me. Fortunately, after about age 23 or so the men I dated weren't interested in guy's nights out that consisted of going to bars and getting drunk - they might go to a ball game, go to a bar but not get drunk, go to a concert, to do karaoke, or go out to dinner. Then, I did like hearing how the evening went and my attitude was usually the same as always.

[melrich]

Do you act like this at all toward your man when he has a guys night out?

 

I think whether it is a guy or a girl there is going to be a bit of that "you went out and had a good time without me" attitude the next day. It's probably a pretty natural reaction.

 

I think you just have to assure her that it is fairly infrequent and that everyone needs a bit of "me" time when in a relationship.

[EvaGina]

HAHA!!!!!!!! YES!!! I do, I'm a cow... I know... but I do it!

 

It's not on purpose, but I am aware of it... I suppose I get a little hurt and feel a bit jealous or something... with us it's because I really don't have a life outside of him - I work with him and at the end of the day I am at home with my son. I only socialise with friends via telephone. I know it's my choice to live that way, but I still feel a little annoyed when he plays two sports per week, plays poker once a week and then goes drinking with the boys on the weekends... I wonder who is talking to, whether girls will flirt with him and whether I'll ever truly find out what went on....

 

I am a pretty insecure girl at times though

 

 

I know what you mean

 

I think I act a bit differently, I just try to show him I can give him space... It might come accross the wrong way tho.

[Mavis VDSande]

LOL, after a night out with the guys I turn up to his flat with a breakfast toastie and a strong tea!!!

 

But seriously, I think there is always the fear that your bf will find a "new and interesting female person" when they go out. Hence the cold welcome afterwards.

 

If you feel that this is hurtful - let your gf know. She may not even know she's doing it - it could be a response, to guard her feelings. Or she may be doing it on purpose because she wants you to remember what life is like without her! Joking...

 

If it bothers you so, speak to her about it. But not in a "pointing fingers at you who can't appreciate a good bier way". But maybe ask her what things she'd like you guys to do together.

[socal]

She's definatley not happy when you go out and most likely worried, jealous, with a million things of possibilities running through her head that could do on during your night. There could also be a trust issue that may need to be addressed. I would guess that her distance is because she's mad and the reason why she isn't bringing it up is because she doens't want to argue or seem controling and scare you away.

 

Talk to her about it and see what her main concern is.