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Gay guy friend loves my boobs...


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I need some advice. I recently ( a few weeks ago ) met my boyfriend's gay boss, "Jim". "Jim" is always hitting on my boyfriend, asking him to flash him, asking if he can blow him, etc. BUT when we are over at his house hanging out he pays all his attention to me. We had a big talk when we first met about how I'm really open and don't mind him being gay and that some of my best guy friends were gay...well he's always staring at my , telling me they're sexy and beautiful, the other night when we were hanging out at his house, he asked me to come lay with him, so we stripped naked and cuddled and me and my boyfriend and our kids ended up spending the night...and then the next day he asked me to spend the night and cuddle with him again....he's still after my man but he did have a girlfriend a few years ago...(he's like in his early 40's)....I don't know....I'm horribly and irreversibly attracted to him....if he was with a girl once...maybe he could be attracted to me? My boyfriend wouldnt mind...we have a pretty open relationship....I just need some input on if i should keep hoping maybe me and "jim" could strike things up. He's very lonely....I think he needs someone.

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Okay I'll bite.

 

You seem to be more asking if this guy is attracted to you, rather than asking anything about how it will affect you're relationship with your bf. I hope ppl can focus on your question and not lecture you about how you should not be stripping naked and cuddling another man. It does sound kind of bizarre that you are your bf have an open relationship given that you have children together, but I guess its non of my business and I don't know your exact situation.

 

Question though: When you and your bf stayed the night, did HE get naked and cuddle too? Did he know that you were naked and cuddling?

 

Anyways, I think this guy is likely attracted to you. I think that we often view gender as a dichotemy: Gay or straight (or halfway inbetween). But IMO, its more like a continuum. Alot of gay men are somewhat attracted to women, but they just preffer men.

 

If you and your bf are so open, why don't all three of you have a night together?

 

I think you could probably count on the guy being attracted to you, but not hope for any kind of relationship.

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have a three some, then ur bf can be happy too???

 

threesomes are tricky... both people in the relationship have to be EXTREMELY comfortable and NOT at all jealous otherwise you risk ruining the relationship, thinking, "oh...i don't like the way he's kissing her" or "i thought that was our thing".

 

I think the fact that he DID have a girlfriend once opens a door to the fact that he may be slightly bisexual and still attracted to a few women. If you and your boyfriend are comfortable with the whole open-relationship deal, then go for it.

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Yes my bf knew that I was cuddling naked with him...no he doesnt care because at this point he doesnt know yet that I am attracted to him. I would be totally open to the threesome...but my bf is not bi at all and uncomfortable with being hit on by a gay man....

 

Yes I was asking more about whether people thought this guy was attracted to me...not how my bf would feel about the situation....

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Actually I was too shocked to notice whether he was aroused or not i was surprised that when we got to his room, he stripped...I was under the impression we would be cuddling with pjs on but when he got naked...I followed suit...it just felt natural

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Oh yeah also...that night before he asked me to come lay with him...he was messing with me like kissing my neck really softly and blowing in my ear and really turning me on...my bf just laughed and left the room (there were other ppl in the room tho) bc he felt it was payback for me trying to get him to be more open with "jim". And when my bf came back "jim" was like "She's all ready for you I gave her two orgasms already". How could he just make me hot and tease me like that if he knows he's not attracted to women? He's such a sweetheart but it just seems so cruel....

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See thats why im confused.....

 

He's definitely gay.....he goes to rehobeth every summer...has kinky parties with drag and s&m stuff, gay porn, dildoes...the works.....he's after my bf! Always trying to get him to flash him and let him "groom" him...and everything...but then he acts this way with me

 

I'm so confused.....

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I'm so confused.....

 

Not to be trite (but not able to resist a funny line either) it kinda sounds like he's a little confused too.

 

In all seriousness, I don't really see how this would work out in a good way. I'm not a super posessive guy but if I were in the role of your b/f then I'd be shutting this down in a hurry.

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. I'm not a super posessive guy but if I were in the role of your b/f then I'd be shutting this down in a hurry.

 

But see he's not worried about it because this guy is after him all the time....so he feels that he's completely gay and not anything to worry about...he thinks that this guy is only acting like this towards me because he's lonely and just needs a friend

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I just feel like this whole thing is very strange. I will be honest with you. What good could come out of any of this? And where are your kids and what do they need when it's going on? I just don't think it's good for anyone connected or involved. That's my opinion. How is your self esteem? You're 19 and have kids (s) plural? A guy who's 40 shouldn't have any business with a girl your age. Are you HAPPY with your circumstances and your life this way? How do YOU feel about it? Are you in touch with it? I am concerned about you and your family.

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My family is doing fine actually. And before you look down on me for this, I havent really shown the whole situation..and you don't know me. But yes I'm 19 and I have kids...actually I have twin 9 month old boys. And this has nothing to do with how I take care of my children. Any fun I'm having is after they are put to bed and taken care of. And trust me I may be 19 but I'm a lot older than my years. As to about him being 40...different people have different views but I believe that when it comes to relationships age is never an issue. My best friend has a 3 month old daughter and she's 20 and her husband is 45 but you know...to each their own.But now that I see your response I realize that maybe putting this up here was a bad idea...not that I care what ppl think of me..I just expected ppl to be more open...Anyway lesson learned. thanks everyone for your advice but i think thats it for enotalone and me.

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