Lies are out of hand... what do I do?

[PaulWall]

Ok so I am writing this and I am furious. My gf recently turned to God and so I trusted her and told her we would turn a new leaf blah blah blah.

 

Anyway I am coming back from spring break and she says she will pick me up from the airport. Anyway, she says she got a flat tire so her friend picks me up instead. Then she says she will call me when she drives back, but never does. Then she texts me saying she is 45 min away. So I call but she doesn't pick up. Then she comes back and walks over to see me and spends the night. She says that she couldn't talk in the car, but could text because her uncle drove her back since it was taking too long to change the tire at the shop. I know that is BS because changing a tire takes no time at all but I figured maybe it was true.

 

So this whole week I have been picking her up and driving her over to my place, etc. Today she is going back home and told me she is going back to get her car of many things. Now I found out that she had her car the entire week and was lying to me the whole time.

 

How in the world should I handle this, its completely ridiculous?

 

EDIT: Topic is in the ex forum now:

[PaulWall]

PS: our relationship has been filled with lies the entire time from her and this one is just so wrong, I was left stranded at the airport for 3 hours.

[Iceman26]

My gf recently turned to God and so I trusted her and told her we would turn a new leaf blah blah blah.

 

 

Out of curiosity, what does her "turning to God" have to do with trusting her?

 

I have known a lot of people that tell little white lies like that, and I agree it is frustrating. Its all on you really and how you feel about her, if you want to confront her about it and work through it, or have you seen enough of the lies and are ready to walk?

[mxfun]

You know, relationships are built on trust. I believe that if someone lies repeatedly, they have no respect for you whatsoever. They are only in it for themselves, and will do whatever they want, even if it's at your expense.

 

Do you really believe you deserve to be treated this way? The answer you should be giving yourself is a resounding..NO! I can see giving a person the benefit of the doubt - ONCE; but if they continue to hurt, lie to, and step on you, get out! In a relationship, both parties should give 100%.

 

Trust gone = no relationship.

[PaulWall]

Ok well I confronted her about it and she hung up on me, wouldnt answer the phone so I texted her asking why she lied, so she says, "there is a logical explanation for this, but your reaction is an answer to my prayer about us being able to work together, unfortunately"

 

her house is over 2.5 hours away and there is no way someone would have delivered her car and her not tell me about it. PLUS she told me today that her parents were picking her up to take her home because she was carless, but her roomate used her car this morning BEFORE she told me this.

 

I try to call her but she wont answer. Should I not talk to her? or should I be forgiving as usual? I have to see her occasionally...

[Scotcha]

"there is a logical explanation for this, but your reaction is an answer to my prayer about us being able to work together, unfortunately"

 

 

I wouldn't call her. To me it sounds like she doesn't want to be in this relationship anymore and she is using her "prayer" as an excuse.

 

You had every right to voice your concerns about this issue and I find it very immature that she is blaming your asking as the reason why the two of you can't work together. If she wanted things to work she would truthfully tell you the logical explanation. The least she could do is not use prayer as an excuse to end the relationship and take responsibility for her own feelings.

[TheFoglifter]

She lied, so she should make it up to you. Let her simmer for a while, don't bother contacting her.

 

If being honest with you isn't important to her, and clearing things up isn't important to her, then why the hell is she a worthwhile girlfriend.

 

The responsibility falls on her, if she doesn't measure up, let her be someone else's problem.

[Iceman26]

She hung up on you so let her make the next move.

 

See, you more than likely caught her in a lie, but instead of fessing up to it, she turned it back around on you, and then hung up the phone before she had to come up with answers she doesnt want to give.

 

What should you do? Well, first off I wouldn't call her again. She is trying to manipulate you and is predicting that you are going to do what you always do: forgive her.

 

Secondly if I were you I would drop her, because I dated one lying jesus freak and I for one would never do it again.

[TheFoglifter]

If you are not equally religious, I think that alone is reason enough to end the relationship. In my experience, people who are very religious are happiest among those who share their beliefs. It can get very complicated reconciling conflicting beliefs.

[ghost69]

sounds like she has a lying problem. she could be a cheater too. she leaves her car to go to your place. hmm.

 

anyways, maybe it isn't the cheater thing. but she does lie a lot and use the god card to make it seem all better. she keeps pulling the religious thing on you for some reason. her quote "there is a logical explanation for this, but your reaction is an answer to my prayer about us being able to work together, unfortunately" is crazy. she has mental problems i think. what was she doing so far away when her tire blew?

[PaulWall]

Oh the tire blowing thing isn't really an issue.

 

Anyway we finally had a long talk and I am more confused than ever. She just said that if I waited for her to call me back instead of just leaving her a voice mail asking why she lied than she would have been able to explain it. Thats bull though because my actions shouldn't affect her ability to explain something rationally.

 

During the long talk she would NOT give me the rational explanation. She wouldn't even discuss the topic because I have told her that its over and she is saying that it doesn't matter since its over anyway.

 

Also she said that the way her ex of 3 years treated her before, she is not over the lasting effects of it. Since he lied to her and was actually cheating on her with other GUYS... yeah I know, currently he is dating another male.

 

She also said her parents are not very nice people and abuse her, but she doesn't want to be the type of person who is grown up and blames her parents for everything.

 

I really don't know what to do. The conversation turned to us talking about every day things like friends would and it was nice, but there are obviously feelings still there.

 

She said something like during our relationship she was never really happy. Not because of our relationship, but the other things that were going on in her life, which somehow I didn't know about, but they still affected us in the way she treated me.

 

She recognized that she had a problem with abusing me emotionally and like dang I almost felt sorry for her. Like someone said she is predicting my next move: forgiveness.

 

I just don't know what I can do besides that because I do want to be with this girl, but I want to be with her not the other hers. She said she knows that the way she acts can change completely from day to day almost like schizophrenia. I think she needs help but I don't know what I can do as a friend to show I care without seeming outrageous.

[ghost69]

the whole calling and leaving a voice mail is garbage and now it doesn't matter? obviously it mattered to you. she probably wanted a voice mail so she could come up with a story for you. i dunno. this whole thing sounds shady.

[Rosesarered]

Lies, lies lies, they suck. She is being untruthful for some reason. I think you need to let her know that you feel like she is being shady, and you cant put up with that sick feeling in the gut of your stomach. I know that it drives me up a WALL when I feel like I am being told lies, or feeling like there is something not right. Talk to her, see what she sayes, and if things dont change....get out.

[PaulWall]

Ah yeah I have talked to her and like I said it is over. I know just what you are talking about with that feeling in the gut of your stomach. Its the worst feeling and then the way she handles is by saying NOTHING. Then I ask, "arent you going to say something to make me feel better?" And she will say "I dont know what to say."

 

I mean jeez its like they dont understand or care how much it hurts to be lied to. I can say I have only lied to her about one thing at the beginning of our relationship I told her that I wasn't a virgin when in fact I was. She is extremely attractive (hot) and I thought that would help my chances since I knew she was not a virgin. Anyway, point is that I confessed to her and kept saying, "I am so sorry, its not fair that you didn't know" and "I will do everything in the world in order to get your trust back because I promise this is the only thing I will ever lie to you about."

 

I dont necessarily expect that from her, but just something to show she recognizes the wrong and genuinely wants to make it right. Instead she says, "I dunno what to say..." AHHHHHH

[PaulWall]

I posted a new topic in the ex forum and I need help, I'm all sorts of messed up. She put me through so much and I don't know what I should do now.