I think I keep wanting her back

[breadproduct]

I left my girlfriend who I had been living with for 5 years about 6 months ago. I left her becuase I kept seeing my unhappily married partents in us. She didn't seem to share my values, I often felt like a restless "housewife." We had hit lesbian bed-death too. She was also unwilling to marry me, though we had purchased a house together. Her family is homophobic and she didn't want to deal with that. I also realized that I had feelings for someone else (a man) and wanted to pursue that. I left our home, she took everything. The dogs, furniture, the friends, we sold the house.

 

Nearly 6 months later, I am having difficuly moving on. I can't stop grieving over everything I've lost. She hates me to no end, I miss her and still love her so much. She is with someone else now, I am with someone else now. I am pushing forward with my life, but I can't stop thinking that I made a horrible mistake. Everything I was so sure of when I left feels different. Now someone else is in love with me, which I feel too at times, but the guilt over my ex is shadowing anything else in my life. I'm trying not to think about her, at least not everyday, but this breakup is still the largest part of my life. Advice? Friendly ear?

[houdini]

breadproduct,

 

What made you initially lose feelings or want to give up wth your long term girlfriend to persue this other man? was it the excitement, the butterflies, attention etc???? I often have read,seen,experienced in situations like this were one leaves their long term love for someone new it's only because of the initial excitment of something new and that maybe "THIS IS THE ONE" type of thinking or attitude. Many times we think with our heart and lead with our heart also many times that can get us into trouble.....

 

Now that you look back at what you've lost do you feel it was worth it? Do you still love her? is your love strong enough for her to fight for even if that means staying away and making yourself a better person? Does she know how you feel about her?

 

I ask these questions because you have to be honest and true with yourself with what you want and you have to be happy with who you are before you can be happy with anyone else. If you're in a new relationship and you don't have the same feelings as your partner and they are just there to fill a void then the best thing to do, the most loving thing you can do is let them go find someone that will give them the love the deserve and need.

 

If you still love your ex girlfriend and she is with someone new then my advice would be to let her know how you feel, what you want if you havnt done that already. After that is all said and done and she knows then move on with your life "alone" and work on yourself and your issues so that you can become a better person if and when she returns to you. We all make bad decisions in life and it's what we learn from them that makes us a better person. Don't be afraid to speak from your heart and let her know but once you do then leave the rest up to her and you move on.....but most of all be honest and true to yourself and you will never go wrong!!!!!

 

PS. Let me know what led up to the breakup and how you felt after you left her and what happened that made you change your mind and how long did it take for you to come to realization of your mistake.

 

Thanks and keep me posted, feel free to PM me if you'd like...

 

Houdini