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just need to take it out...

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i just need to to take this out... i went to my ex/still husband's email, and it was my fall down. I was dating a guy for five years, and got pregnant nine months ago, but when i was two months, we got married, and eventually he decided to play with me, he was always talking to this other girl everyday, in the mornings, nights, almost like 24 hour, didn't know how he did it, bc i didn't noticed until one day. he then decided to leave me for the girl, his coworker, because he fell in love and didn't know how it happened. i begged him to stay with me, but he moslty humilitated me, and treated me like i was nothing. i even called the girl, and she stated that he was the one who called her, and that she didn't know, i actually felt relieved because she said she didn't want anything with him, but the last called, he said, that she didn't care if he would leave his son and his wife. he stated that he didn't love me anymore, and although, i do undertand, i couldn't seen to forget him.


as the months pass by, i was healing, i eventually found out that he was with her, and that they both were really happy. my son is now one month, born a little early, and he hasn't even came to visit him. he called a while ago, and wanted to offer money, and that the reason he hasn't called he was broke, but he is now okay, i said i didn't needed it, and he got mad, he said that it wasn't me, it was the baby, and i said, the baby is doing fine. for this stupid thing, i went to the internet, and checked an email he used to use when i was with him, and i found a picture of the girl naked, in what used to be our bedroom, i recognized it because some of my stuff is still there. all my feelings came back, and now i am so depressed. i actually still had a little hope that he would regret his decision and come back, and be a family again, because that is the thing that i've always wanted, but i just figured out that he is really happy, and i am so miserable, and sometimes, i feel like i can't take it anymore. during my pregnancy i felt so bad because i was big, and i felt so ugly, and now after, i still do. i also feel bad, because sometimes i feel that she is more pretty than me, although my friends don't seem to agree... but i still feel that way, i sometimes ask myself, why wasn't i good enough for him, why did he fell out of love with me, after five years, why did he got me pregnant, and then just left me, why did he promised me som many things, why did he cry when we had a fight, and always came back............i just don't undertand..................

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That is pathetic - what an a$$hole!! I can't even begin to imagine what kind of a guy would do something like this. You deserve a million times better than this. I know it must hurt like heck right now but one day, you will look back on this and thank your lucky stars that this happened now and not in 5 or 10 years time when you would have invested even more into him.


He does not deserve to see his child - he certainly can't call himself a father. You WILL get past this and you WILL find someone to love you as you deserve to be loved - to be there for you and your son.


Please, rise above this, and realize how much more you deserve and how there is no way he deserves anything that you have to give!!



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Don't be depressed over this guy. He is not worth your pain and your time.


You are attractive and a wonderful mother to your lovely baby boy.


What you need is to stop reading his e-mail or looking as anything of his for the rest of yoru life. Karma will get those two in the end so don't worry about that. Focus on yourself and the baby.


Pamper yourself for a day. Have your girlfriends or family take the baby for a day and go to a beauty spa. Treat yourself to a lovely massage, hair cut, facial and then buy a sexy new outfit for yourself. Like they say, looking good is feeling good. There are plenty of good men out there just waiting for you to be ready to meet them.


Chin up! As catren said, you will rise above all this and realize just how valuable you really are.

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