im only 15 but have fallen for my 20 year old mate what should i do?

[punchdrunk225]

i have the same situation as you except i dont know if the guy likes me

but if he only talks about sex then he might want to use you

im not sure of it but thats what i think of men

but if you guys talk about other things to like about the two of you and your future then you are very lucky and the parent problem... be a good girl i guess but if you really like him plan to meet him somewhere at least once but dont get in trouble or anything

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

ok hmmmm were to start, been away for a few days so havnt been on lol ummmm ok

 

well bout you saying bout the self esstem, well i dont hav any anyways,

 

and besides i dont know if wat my mate said was true or not, so yeh!!

[Spugly Fuglet]

Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal! I have read some of your other posts on stopping cutting, and saving yiur freands life I would say your selfasteam sould be going uo, yet all the time you are doing your self down wile bing strong minded about this guy. I get the feeling you won't others to see you as a victim but the why you "Know" your mind on thinks paints a picture of a very strong willed lady. Could it be you who has yet to come vlean to herself and see what inner strength you have, or will you clame weakness again even in the face of the facts and indoing so show that strength yet again.

 

You need to start to see what's inside you, a woman of power and love, that's a very good combination.

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

hmmm yeh i get wat u mean, but knowing ur hurting ur self and seeing a besat friend nearly kill herself and being told wat she told me can lower ur self estem loadz, and then having that same friend nearly dieing in hospital coz she has a heart condition, and u knowing u have nearly lost ur best mate really has a dramatic effect on ones life, but having that friend saying wat she said bout the guy u like makes u think is she doing this coz she want more attention as i use to give it all to her before i knew this guy and before we had an argument and then became best mates again! or that is she telling the truth bout him, or is she getting her own bac on me for stopping her killing herself twice, i dunno.

 

but i do believe that he truly cares bout me, he has dont anything i have asked him to do no matter what hes going through hes always has found time to talk to me and see if im ok!

 

me and him discused everything now and we hav desided what we are going to do with are relationship/friendship!

and we are going to stick to that no matter wat anyone else says! well i think we are!

[Spugly Fuglet]

Then its your call, you have made your own mind up what comes from this will be all down to you no one to blame from now on but you. Thats really what being an Adults all about, You make your mind up and you act for good or bad. Now asking thats shows brains, coming here and asking us what we think lets you have points of view you may not have had befor. Life at the end of the day is not so hard to get on with, all you really need is food, shelter, warmth after that its entertainment and needs.

 

Love is nice, it comes and gos, its good your holding back on geting into a full on realshonship, sex can wait until your ready and inside the law, sorry to bring that up again. Cutting will thats some thing you can and I believe will stop.

 

Lifes a big thing i have found trying to think about it all at once is just to much, so I dont, best just to think about whats around you and whats good and bad for you and thows you care for.

 

All ways remember this one thing, be kind on your self, dont be to upset if you dont reach what you aim for at the end of the day its your life.

 

What I will ask is just for me being Dyslexic to what it been life for you?, when did you find out? most of all do you think in 3D in shapes and movements, I see like me you love words even when there your enemy some times.

 

most of all do you feel shame for being Dyslexic for a long time I did.

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

i so think in movments and shapes and its easier for me to learn if it is draw or perforemed takes me longer to learn if it is written, and life is hard being dyslexic lol i cant really spell dat lol .

 

but anyways thnx for ur help spugly fuglet and the rest of u, i really like this guy but i am going to wait till im 16 and spugly fuglet

when u said 'sex can wait until your ready and inside the law, sorry to bring that up again.'

 

lol i aint ready of sex yet even tho i talk bout it, im not ready yet i know that,

 

and the cutting thing, yeh thats hard to explain but this guy knows bout it and he just trys to encorage me not to do it but if i do hes not mad at me just tries to cheer me up.

 

anyways ill keep u posted on it all!

[Spugly Fuglet]

Ill send you a PM Sxc Gabby on help with dyslexica

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

ta Spugly Fuglet i have read them and have replyed to u i hope they help me!

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

hmm havnt put anything on here lately, well anyway, i havnt spoken much with him lately been kinda busy both of us hav, i still hav feelings for him, but now im just confussed bout if its all the right thing, im not sure, but wateva happens i will always be friends with him and love him always, cant eva stop that coz hes such a great friend.

[Hope75]

I'm glad that you are becoming more distant from him. I really think it's hitting him (and maybe you) that with an age and life stage difference as you have, there isn't enough in common to sustain a close relationship.

 

You are better off.

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

i am talking to him at tho mo, but i think we are more talking like friends now, but we might be meeting up some time just to hang out, as ive got my gcse exams starting and i just need to hang with my mates so i think im going up town with him sometime.

[eliza]

Sorry - I havent read all the 12 pages...

 

But, I just thought I'd say, you will find that ALOT of guys will make you feel "special" just to get in your pants. Trust me, so many guys are like that, it's scary, because you just don't know what to look out for if you're inexperienced.

 

It's very difficult because you are young, and thereforeeee you will probably be quite hormonal, and this will make things seem better or worse than what they really are.

 

Though you do seem quite mature, so I'd say go with your head on this one and not your heart, because if you get hurt at such a fragile stage in your life, it will stay with you for longer, and this will influence your outlook on all your future relationships.

 

Pursue a strong friendship with this guy until your older, this will give you a chance to learn a bit more, and grow up and realise things, and also time for you to make your mind up about him. A good friendship will also give stable and reliable ground for any possible relationship.

 

Sorry if this is irrelevant now after so many pages!

 

My exams are starting too.... sigh. Best of luck to you, I hope you do well!

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

hmm yeh i am learning each day new things and growing to like him more as a friend, the other week something happened between be and this guy in my year at skool, since that day i hav felt different about my older friend, i see him for a friend now, i expect that nothings gunna happen with me and him at the moment, i hav to much going on in my life, and to much pain in my life, but as me and him hav both said u never know wat will happen in the future, but what eva happens we will always be mates!

[MikeMHz]

Hey Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal!

 

Ok first I wanna explain why I think I can give good advice on this. I'm also 20 and I've also found myself liking, even loving a 14 y/o girl. But what makes me different is I know it can't happen.

 

When I was 14/15 I was such a romantic I talked crazy stuff about getting married with girls I'd known 3 months. What love means CHANGES as you get older.

 

When you're young and maybe going through a difficult stage... you said you self harm... it's easy to fall in love with the closest person to you. The friend who's there for you and cares for you. This is not love, trust me, it's being lonely and needy.

 

But hey read on because there's hope! Obviously you are friends and that's OK. Keep the friendship but don't make it anything more. Deal with your life problems, do good in school, make good with your family and get to where you want to go. He should do the same.

 

The reason I fell for the 14 y/o girl I know is 1) because she's a nice, attractive personality. 2) because she's attractive. 3) because I was lonely and lacking a love life (or the confidence to approach the girls that I know fancy me at college...).

 

Please stop letting this guy escape his personal issues and sexual frustration with you! You'd both have a much better chance of lasting as friends and perhaps one day being together if you get on with your lives apart.

[Sxc_Gobby_Lil_Gal]

yeh that makes a lot of sense thanks, i think i will say friends with him for the time being i hav to much going on at the moment anyways, n i liket his guy in my year at skool, my feelings bout this guy have changed since something happened with me and one of my mates, thanks to my best guy friend lol his girlfriend told him to make sure i didnt do anything stupid lol he didnt do a good job of that lol, but i do mind, i hav lots of fun with this guy in my year which made me change how i felt bout my older friend, i may still like him, but i would think at the moment he os better to me as a friend then anything else!