Should I email or call????????

[confused82]

Okay, So I have posted a couple things about my recent break up. I am torn up right now. First off I have left my ex alone, I have not contacted except for the finanicial obligations and have made one comment asking "are you sure you want this" other than that I have had no contact or emails or texts NOTHING. It has been two weeks and feels like an eternity. I know she doesnt want this and has told me that but I know she loves me and I know we had a good relationship NOTHING big was wrong nothing that couldnt be worked out.

So here is the question.........should I send a letter or call telling her (not pushing her) how i feel and how I think we are great together and she has just lost sight of that right now and something to the effect of maybe we should just try and I really dont understand why we couldnt try. Not in those words and obviously not so pushy but something like that. I FEEL LIKE I CANT LET THIS LOVE DIE. eventhough it is out of my control should I try or should I just leave her alone? My heart says try my head says "if she isnt willing to try why should I?"

WHAT DO I DO?

[darkpumpkin]

You leave it. It's hard and for some reason your mind makes you think that if you say the right thing, explain how this shouldn't be happening a light will go off inside their head and boom they will realize that the break-up was not what they want. It doesn't happen. Nothing you say/do will change what they choose to do. Besides everyone misses everyone at some point maybe not enough to get into contact or to come back for a second chance but either way he will not have the chance to miss you and figure out what he needs to do if you contact him.

[confused82]

thank you!!! sometimes I just need to write and hear someone tell me NO. I am sure everyone has felt this way and it helps to have people keep telling you no eventhough I have hear it probably 100 times it needs to stay in my head and not just in my heart!!!!!!!!

[darkpumpkin]

Totally happens. Does to me ALL THE TIME what many people don't get is that you need someone/something to reinforce that NO is the right answer because when left to your own devices you can totally convince yourself it's going to make a difference with contact. you are totally doing the right thing and come here whenever you feel that your not sure.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Hmmm. I don't think there is anything you can say that will persuade her she has made a mistake. I understand your impulse to contact her but to be honest, thinking about this, I think you might drive a wedge between you even further.

 

If it helps, write that letter and rewrite it and get it right. But don't post it to her - see how you feel in another month or so. See how she feels. It's only been two weeks, and she has broken up with you, so she was sure enough about that.

 

Use this time to try to heal and focus on yourself - let your family and friends support you, and be really really nice to YOU!

 

I'm sorry you're hurting, but no, I don't think sending an email like that or calling is a good idea right now.

 

Take care.

[browneyedgirl36]

I agree with all of the responses here. It's pretty likely that she already knows how you feel -- that you want another chance, that you didn't want the break-up, etc. The truth is -- and I'm sure you know this -- that you can't make her realize anything; she has to realize it on her own, in her own time and in her own way. She may do this, and she may not. Your task, regardless of what happens, is to continue on with your life -- with making a life for yourself and living it to the fullest.

 

A quote I've always liked (I'm not sure if it's from Robert Frost or Ralph Waldo Emerson -- I can never remember): "Things haven't always turned out the way I wanted them to, but looking back, they have always turned out as they should have."

 

I have a post-it note stuck to my computer at work (partly because I have to see my ex at work, and I need to remind myself that I'm going to be OK) that says, in Italian (so I know what it means but he doesn't if he sees it): "Everything is as it should be." It comforts me to remember this.