Make a decision, Any decision

[freedom]

Over the last few days i have experienced 2 decision making 'task' i would like to share, an old wiseman told me this and i try hard to practice it.

 

In a situation where you are confused and have to make a decision. Then set a deadline and then MAKE A DECISION. Accept the decision and live with it. It is called maturity and builds character which leads to empowerment.

 

IF you don't make a decision it WILL lead to someone else making the decision OR it will lend itself to the situation making the decision for you. You will then lack the maturity which lead to lack of character which leads to drop in self esteme.

 

So make a decision, any damn decision as long as YOU make a decision you cannot go wrong.

 

I suppose why many people come here is because they are 'stuck' or fear the consequences of a decision. When you make NO decision you have decided to make a bad decision. When you don't make a decision, you hand over your power to someone else and that is why you are helpless.

Make a decision, take control!!!

[Batya33]

My favorite song by Rush has lyrics like this "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."

[Jetta]

My mom tells me something like this a lot. I'm a waverer. I hate to make decisions and she has said you won't like the decisions others make for you so make them yourself.

 

I really liked what you said, it clicked with me.

[Bethany]

Making a decision that is acceptable to your heart is, in my opinion the only decision that you can live with otherwise you will just repeat the cycle,e.g. did I make the right decision?, was it the right decision? have I done the right thing?, which leads to more indecision ..arghhh etc. When you make that decision from your heart, you will find relief and a calmness inside and fel hapier about it.

I also agree with Batya, i.e. making a decision not to make a decision (enabling your tired mind rest and centering yourself) works well if under duress. Talking through a problem with a confidant can help to get things into perspective too.

[freedom]

Sometimes decisions has to be made which goes against the heart, it doesnt mean that it is a wrong decision but a necessary one.

[Bethany]

Sometimes decisions has to be made which goes against the heart, it doesnt mean that it is a wrong decision but a necessary one.

 

I disagree. By making that decision, it is a decision from the heart if it sits right inside you. If you think it's necessary then it IS a decision from the heart, something which is acceptable to you.

It may feel like the wrong decision and it may not be what you want but it's the right decision if you are able to find peace of mind from it.

 

If it is not the right decision you will not find peace over, then the search to find the right decision continues....

[freedom]

Bethany,

i respect what you are getting at. I assume that you didnt have to let a couple of people go from work (fire) because of a situation. Their are many times in which reality bites. There are right decisions and there are decisions that are made from the heart. If decisions in the world are based solely on ones feeling of the heart then the world will cease to function.

I think there are many times hard decision are made because it is a necessary decision whether it sit right in your heart or not. You may not sleep well with it but it is part of 'growing up' and seeing the world as it is.

If in every situation we look for a decision that 'sits' right with the heart, time is wasted trying to think of what sitisfies the heart. When a decision has to be made, leave the heart out of it, think it thru and act on that decision. When the heart is involved, things gets more complicated then it should be.

 

You and i know that.

[Batya33]

I would think that someone trying to make a difficult decision would find your advice overbearing and probably a bit condescending too. In order to give advice, you have to be empathic rather than dictating to someone the "proper" way to make a decision. It's easy to write platitudes and cliches about making decisions, much more difficult - but far more rewarding! - to learn about that person's decision making process, the substance of the decision, and only when fully knowing that type of detail, give input, if asked on what you observe about the alternatives.

 

Such as, "I see that one alternative is to fire the person and the other is to retain the person but have to ask others on the team to pick up the slack, and that if you fire the person she might be financially/emotionally devastated." Telling someone in that situation "don't follow your heart - this is just cold hard business!" is all well and good but often not realistic if the employer and employee have become confidantes/friends. There might have to be a combination of heart and head where the person is given "one more chance" or she promises to give the fired person excellent references, etc.

 

That's just one example where your broad generalizations and "I know how to make a decision so you must listen to me!" would be unhelpful and perhaps make it even harder for the person trying to make a decision.

[Bethany]

I AM a boss actually and have a direct influence over sacking someone. I am also a Union Representative so I know the grievance procedure like the back of my hand.

 

I think that you are confused. A "difficult" or "unpopular" decision is still the right decision, which always sits right inside us however difficult or unpopular it was in making.

 

Maybe now I've cleared that up, hopefully you will make a decision that I do in fact know what I am talking about.

[finewhine]

I agree with you, Bethany!