I love You But I'm Not INLOVE With YOU?!?!?!?!? WHAT!!!!!!

[Tameka666]

Last night me and my boyfriend of 10 months was on the phone and he told me that he loved me but he wasn't inlove with me , and i got really hurt and confused , i have no idea what he means by that , and i'm worried that soon he'll fall out of love with me .... were 16 and we are highschool sweethearts and our relationship is great he's my "first" and i'm his first "love" and we've experienced many new things together and were together all the time , just recently we had a huge blow out ... he wanted to look at naked pictures and all that stuff and i felt sort of bad about it and so i asked him why and i kept asking him why he was so interested and he started fussing but thats the only real bad thing that has ever happened between us....could ya'll please help me i do not understand what he meant by he love me but he's not inlove with me...am i supposed to be mad or accept but i know for a fact that i cannot feel any pain or happiness knowing that .. please . i need some advice on what to do....please reply....

[sadksgirl]

I know what your going through. My ex said that same thing to me. I found this on a website. I know it hurt my feelings but I believe it is the truth.

 

It means that he needs to grow a spine.

Quibbling over shades of definition is one of the unfortunate things guys do when they're ashamed of their feelings, in this case being afraid to tell the hard truth that he's not in love with you. Worse still, it often occurs when a man is trying to have his cake and eat it too, e.g., stay in a relationship while not allowing it to advance beyond his current comfort level.

The antidote to such doublespeak is to hit it with a little truth of your own and then see what that reveals. If his philosophizing on "love vs. in love" were met with, "Fine. Call me when you're in love," Mr. Wishy-Washy might find his backbone pronto. And if the call never comes, so much the better -- you're now free to find a man who loves you enough to be in love with you too.