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[JustMe27]

I found this website through the internet- I was looking for somehwere to write how I feel because I know alot of people in my life are getting sick of hearing me talk about the way I feel. Its hard when alot of them have never been through something like this before.

 

Anyways, Its been about a month since my break up me and my ex were together for 8 years. We had a great time together, we never faught, we always laughed and yes in the last little while things were getting hard with us spending time together because we were both working two jobs. I went away for a business trip and when I came back he said we needed to talk.

 

He told me that he was very unhappy in his own life and needed to figure out alot of things for himself- job wise he was very unhappy. He said I had matured and figured out alot of things for myself and he felt that it wasent fair that I was always the one trying to hold us together. He needed time to figure out who he was and what he wanted.

 

I understand why he wanted to do this because he wasent a very happy person in the last two months we were together-I guess I was just angry that he wouldnt let me be there for him and help him along the way, like he had helped me figure out my life.

 

Its hard right now because we work together at out night jobs- we dont have to see eachother its a pretty big place- but usually after our shifts are done he wil stop by to see how I am doing and ask me about my business. Its like we never broke up when were together. The other night he walked me to my car and gave me the biggest hug and told me he loved me. Which was great to hear but so confusing at the same time.

 

We dont talk outside of work- Im heading to Europe In about a month and he was happy for me and jelous at the same time but this was something I needed to do to get away from all of this.

 

I am so confused-its like he wanted to let go- but he cant. I want to believe that he will find his way back to me but then I dont want to sit here waiting and hoping. Maybe I just wasent the girl for him and he needs someone totally different then me to help him with his life....or maybe this is us being friends?

 

I habe no idea- Im so lost and dont know what to do or say.and i dont want to call and ask him because I think that will just annoy him more then anything. He wont tell people that we know mutually through work that we have broken up- ppl are so surprised when i break the new to them.does anyone have any advice?

 

Thanks so much

M

[Thornycactus]

Your man is stressed.............nothings goin right in his life at this moment..............I do the same thing..................ex givin me a hard time...........kids acting up...............job highly stressful.............somethings gotta give...............and it's usually the beau.............can't give up the job.....high payin and me bread and butter..............kids.....love em no matter what..................ex has his purpose too..............there's only one thing I can control.................the relationship with the beau..........whenever things get tough...............he's the one to go................when I feel he's not adding but subtracting from my life................out he goes............cruel but true.........................my 2 cents..............do the NC.......it really is a reality check....................and when he comes around................and he will!show him that you are a definite positive in his life.............

 

............From your story............it's all about him and he just needs a little recover time.........................No stress

[robowarrior]

If people are never together they might as well consider themselves as separated. What you had is a relationship on paper maby even less then that.

 

People shouldn't be engaged in a relationship if they don't have the time to invest into eachother, here you going off to europe, maby he'll go abroad for his job too, how is being an ocean apart spending quality time together? The answer is it ISN'T!

 

Nowadays people who chase the diamonds in their lives don't know their own children, the father doesn't know the son, the mother not seeing her own daughter using drugs, people that are strangers who happened to be related by blood under fictional names like 'we're a couple, or we're family' , nope its not the way to go.

 

Its better to go for the brass in your life, earn less, and spend more quality time together, if nicely arranged, you can get more life for less money, with more time on your hands to do things together that couples do.

 

I can so understand that he's unhappy, there's no one there for him to come home to, exept the void no one greets him. People are in a relationship because they want to be together, not because they want to be separated if you get my drift. So for both of you it must become nice to come home, of course he loved you, but your job prevents you from being there for him, and he is prevented of being there for you. Im not allowed to say what you should or could arrange to make your life improve towards that because that's something you two have to work out. I hope it does work out tho because he sounds like a wonderfull guy.

[JustMe27]

Im not moving to Europe Im just going for a holiday. He brole up with me because he was unhappy with his own life- so he tells me. Your are right we have drifted since we started are new jobs but what can we do now? He ended us and I dont knowhow to make things better.

[robowarrior]

Well communicate to him on how you two could possibly make more time for eachother,and what could be done to improve the relationship.