gez Im stupid.

[second_opinion]

Hi everyone

 

I was curious about my boyfriends past, so I asked him last night. I found out that he wanted to ask her to marry him, apparently the broke up because she was controlling and demanding. I also found out they had sex a year into their relationship.

 

I regret asking. It made me feel weird inside. I was planning to tell my boyfriend I was ready to have sex with him however I feel strange and now I dont want to tell him.

 

What the hell is wrong with me!? argh Im an idiot for asking.

[lady00]

Hi everyone

 

I was curious about my boyfriends past, so I asked him last night. I found out that he wanted to ask her to marry him, apparently the broke up because she was controlling and demanding. I also found out they had sex a year into their relationship.

 

I regret asking. It made me feel weird inside. I was planning to tell my boyfriend I was ready to have sex with him however I feel strange and now I dont want to tell him.

 

What the hell is wrong with me!? argh Im an idiot for asking.

 

I understand how you feel...it's weird hearing about the experiences of someone you are currently dating had with someone else. If nothing else, it kind of kills the mood. Well, things probably will smooth over in your mind if you just try not to think about it too much. Good luck.

 

And you're not stupid or an idiot! I asked my now-ex about his past girlfriends and it made me a little uncomfortable because I asked for too much detail and he was honest. It made me wonder if I would measure up in the bedroom lol. Anyway, just try your best to focus on your relationship with him. The past is gone and it can't be gotten back.

[second_opinion]

thats true. Theres something on my mind though. Do you think theres a chance he could go back to her??

[lady00]

thats true. Theres something on my mind though. Do you think theres a chance he could go back to her??

 

Anything is possible. But I will say this as a warning: if you choose to focus on that possibility and worry that it will happen, it will be reflected in your actions and you will become insecure. This could drive your bf away. So while it is technically possible that he could go back to her in the sense that anything is possible, you can't focus on that or it will kill your relationship. Give him the benefit of the doubt and trust him unless he gives you a reason not to. Good luck!

[second_opinion]

I trust him allot and love him deeply. I jut dont want to lose him. I dont show him Im insecure or anything but it does enter my mind.

[EvaGina]

I know EXACTLY what you mean!!!

I dont care about ex girlfriends, its not what I do... but the thought of my bfs ex makes me sick.

 

My good friend is the most un-jelous person I ever met, all her previous boyfriends were allowed to have sex with other girls as long as they used protection and she was told about it.

 

But with her fiancee, she cant STAND the thought of him being with another girl

I think the feeling is completely natural when you love someone and want only them for the foreseeable future... just control it, tell him how you feel, that your not angry at him, you just need a bit of reassureance.

dont let yourself get too paranoid dont worry to much, we all go thorugh this at some point

[DragonGirl724]

Why question the past if you didn't want to really know about it?

I think it's SOMETIMES important to ask about why past relationships failed to maybe give ya a lil peek at their past before you, but BEFORE you are in a relationship with that person. When you ask afterwards it can sometimes get 'weird' as you found out...And it's always vital to talk about any possible STDs contracted by past sexual partners. But other than that I don't think much info should be provided if it won't effect the relationship you have with this person any.

 

It's normal to get a little weirded out seeing old pics of exs, or stuff like that, but realize the relationship with that person is OVER. YOU are IT now! You should be just as paranoid about your bf/gf finding someone new in town to fall in love with as falling BACK in love with an ex. So quit stressing...what I find to be a lighthearted way of talking about past relationships is something like this (and this is said in a clearly OBVIOUS playful sarcastic tone):

"Not that I have ever had sex before with past boyfriends, but if I did, I would still say that you would still be the best."

 

(I'd say it this way because I honestly feel our sex is better than any other sex Ive had before, and I want to tell him that, but without actually saying "Out of everyone else I laid, You're still better than those dudes.")

 

or

"I know you never had been in love before me and all but IF YOU WERE would you still say our love is the best?"

 

just keep it light and playful and don't worry too much about the details. Because even if you did or didn't ask, it doesn't mean his/her history is any different, it's just that you are unaware of it thats all. So usually if you don't ask and they won't tell. And sometimes that's just the better way to go.

 

-DG724