Stages of recovery- thought processes involved etc

[kate111]

Looking back I realise now that our relationship was alot better for him than for me. I compromised heaps more than him. I encouraged him and supported him whilst he made me feel that I was somewhat not good enough. He poo pooed my hobbies and made me feel it was better to be seen and not heard.

 

Strange because I was never conscious of this during the relationship. Never really cared as I thought it was worth it. But now in light of the break up etc my feelings have changed.

 

So confusing. What am I to make of all this?

[CareBear53187]

i know exactly what you mean..

it's so good that you recognize that, for a couple reasons-

 

the first is that this will, in a lot of ways help you to move on from him....once he's no longer on a pedastool you really can move forward.

 

the second, which is much more important long term, is that now that you recognize it make sure that you don't create a pattern, continuing to date men that do the same thing to you..

 

i dont know you, but i know you deserve so much better than that.

 

stay strong

[kate111]

You think so?

 

I totally agree regarding the pattern thing. I'm really taking time out to evaluate my life. I don't want to make the same mistake again.

 

I have also come to the realisation that even if he came back I would need to work on this aspect of our relationship. I would not want him to mold me but would need to respect my life choices and way of personal expression.

[elithepi]

Hang on to what you have realized.

It will help in the long run like carebear said...reason 2.

Recognize those "red flags" that you see now and pay attention if you see them again.

 

Poo pooing hobbies is mean and you aren't a voiceless ornament. You should always be heard if you got something to say.