monkey1 Posted March 12, 2007 Share Posted March 12, 2007 so i was talking to my bf earlier today and we were talking about weddings, like what we would like if we got married. so i told him i felt kinda dumb looking at wedding stuff and i wasn't even engaged. so he asked if i wanted to get engaged. i said i do but i'm not ready yet. so then he asked what i would think if we planned to get engaged by the end of this year? that freaked me out. it hurt him. it wasn't my intention, but it's a ldr, making that kind of commitment, well, it's the whole idea of well it's real that we'd be planning to be together forever. it's a huge deal going from seeing each other not as often as you want to, to suddenly saying that you do want to take the next steps to getting engaged and then married. we've been together around 4 years, known each other 5 or so. i'm starting to lose track. in my head, i can totally see us getting married, having kids and so on. i can see myself with him forever. but i guess i don't feel totally sure about us taking that step, being engaged. i thought that if we got to that point that we'd be totally comfortable and confident about making our relationship permanant, but i think i'm the one who's lagging. i feel like we haven't spent enough time together in person to really be sure if we're going to work out. i know no one is ever 100% that their relationship will work out or that their marriage last. but i guess i feel extra unsure about it. we haven't yet planned on sorting out our living situation. i'd prefer to have one of us move and us remain having separate residences just to be sure that we are able to adjust to see if we we'll work out ok. i fear living together right away because i think it will be too overwhelming from being long distance and seeing each other here and there and suddenly being with that person 24/7. one of us would have to get work visa which i don't think is that easy to obtain for either country (us/uk). it's either that, or get married to be together. i know i love him and i want to be with him. i just don't know what to do. i hate ldr's. they're so complicated, especially when both people live in different countries. anyone had to deal with something like this? i mean should i commit and get engaged and just see how things go? i know it's not like we'd have to get ready and plan a wedding right away, but have a long engagement. thoughts? Link to comment
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