My friend has cut me off and i dont think she was good anyway

[BrokenHeartGirl]

I have a friend who i really liked, when we first met we had alot in common, we met while at a college,, we both were taking college courses in a high school program.. We instantly clicked..I never met anyone in MY HS who i had that much in common with.. She lived about 3 hours away from me though in the suburbs. When she graduated HS, she moved to the city right by me to go to the same college as me.. A nice apartment.. We had alot of fun times together going out, she was nice.etc. We were best friends. But some things she did made me think she wasnt so nice.

We were in a dancing contest together at some club- we won- the prize was $100,, she kept the whole thing and didnt give me my share, i didnt say anything.. Then i got very sick one time the next day after hanging out with her, i had spinal meningitis. I was in the hospital for two months. She didnt visit me or send anything and when i told her what happened, she made a comment " you slept over so i better go to the doctor"...she sounded annoyed. i think she could have came to see me once.

I overlooked it, then she left our college after 3 years and moved back to the suburbs so we hardly spoke after that..I helped her pack her stuff which took the whole day- never really got a thanks from her.. i had gone to a college right near her for two semesters.. I called her letting her know I was there, she never got back to me..

Then when i moved back to the city, we did get together. She told me she was a stripper. I felt bad and weird about it.. We got together and went to a club she invited me too to. I met her male friends who were all big guido type guys, my friend was a rocker girl so i was surprised by this, she was also just into house and techno music. She kept telling me the whole night "Do ecstasy with me" i kept saying "no", she kept insisting. So i took the pills, held them in my other hand, and made believe i took them,(she didnt notice i threw them away later)..

At the nights end she was very wasted. I couldnt have her stay at my place because i had no space and we didnt intend on that.. I felt worried for her so I took the railroad with her which took 3 hours all the way back to her house.. Her roommates/friends were beyond rude to me, i wanted to leave.....I didnt stay over just took the railroad back to my place which took 4 hours. I got no appreciation or thanks from her.

Next time she called me she told me shes pregnant and shes 5 months,, and just found out. I really did not know what to say. she wasnt married or have a boyfriend seriously.. She sent me an invite to her baby shower which was 4 hours away from me and her friend/roommate who was rude to me was hosting it..I really felt weird going, and felt she never made the distance for me or thanks so why should i go? Her roommate who was rude to me called and asked me if i got the invite? I just said I want to go but its very far, 4 hours, she said someone can pick you up from the railroad, i just said still its a 4 hours trip for me. She got very angry and snotty with me..

I really didnt feel obligated to go since she never visited me in the hospital.

So ever since then I have not heard from this friend and that was almost a year ago, so did i do something wrong or did she turn into a bad friend?

I miss the good times we had and her.

[jimthzz]

and maybe never really was.

 

She's evolved further in a very negative way. Drugs, mafia-types, stripping, a baby to boot?

 

Her treatment of you when you were sick is abbysmal.

 

Your need for her friendship is kinda strange to me.

 

Your life will be much better if you let go of this attachment.

 

Seek out healthy and nice people for friendship.

 

Steer clear of this one and those of her ilk. They will use you when it suits them.

[honeyspur]

so did i do something wrong or did she turn into a bad friend?

 

 

Are you serious honey???

 

My only question is - how on earth can it get better now? It sounds like she liked you because you allowed her to be rude and mean and you are probably one of the few who did.

 

Abusive friendships are truly bizarre because friends are supposed to respect and support you. I suspect you know this already on some level, but perhaps feel it is not true for you?

 

Also, do you have some sympathy for her, despite her train-wreck of a life?

I'm not saying she's purely evil here - no one ever is - but too much understandng seems to not be effective here because you are not getting what you want.

 

If she contacts you again, you may have to have a difficult conversation with her. "I've been doing some thinking on our friendship and you need to know some stuff before it can go on...."

You can do this with care and maturity - it doesn't have to be apologetic or rude sounding.

 

I am only concerned so much because I fear you will repeat this pattern - having a string of strange, unsatisfying friendships that start out great and end badly.

 

And you don't deserve it.

 

You deserve someone.....like you.