Never felt so hurt

[xblondyx]

At this minute in time, I'm so angry, so upset, so I'm sorry if some of this doesn't make sense. I'm typing through blurred vision, from crying for over an hour.

 

Anyway, tonight, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating...well....I guess I should start from the beginning.

 

I started dating this guy, he still lived with his ex gf but it was over. I foolishly believed him. We started going out (being gf and bf) things were going amazing. He was lovely to me, we had our disagreements but it was good! He told me he loved me, I said I was on my way to really falling for him.

 

In the middle of Feb, I went away for a month, visiting people around the UK. So I didn't see him, we spoke, but he became very distant, wouldn't reply to my texts or answer my phone calls. I got back the other day, we arranged to meet up. He then cancelled on me, said he was busy. He was still distant and I could see it all coming...

 

Tonight, he turned up on my doorstep, his "ex gf" in the car. Asked if he could come in. Stupidly I let him in. He said "I've got to talk to you about something". I knew...I just instantly knew. I kept it together though, I didn't want him to know how hurt I felt.

 

He said "while you've been away, me and Nat (his ex) have been talking a lot, we've talked our issues through and we are together again" and I just said "oh okay" and then he said "well, we've been together for a while now, I just didn't know how to tell you". I just said "okay then, don't worry about it". He said he was just being honest and then he walked out. No goodbye, no apology....got in his car with HER and drove away. As soon as I shut the door I broke down. I couldn't believe it. He's been lying to me from the beginning. I did have an inkling but I really liked him a lot and decided to trust him. Now I've been left heartbroken. He thinks I'm not bothered, I told him to be happy...that I was happy they were back together. I don't know why I said it. I wanted to shout, scream, hurt him. But I couldn't. Maybe deep down I knew this was happening. But I can't believe it.

 

I gave him everything, I slept with him (no contraception), I sacked my mates off for him, spent all my time with him and got in fights with my parents because of him (they thought he was too old for me).

 

This is so unfair. I want the hurt to stop and for me to stop crying. It's gonna take me a while to get over it. I've gone straight into NC. He said it was up to me if we stayed in touch. That made me sick, I literally threw up! It hurt me that much. As soon as I got control of myself, I blocked his number, deleted all of his pictures and texts and erased him from everything. I'm still in shock though. Why is this happening

 

Sorry for long post, I needed a release

[pearlylove]

i'm not entirely sure what to respond with but so many people are reading this and not replying that it made me a bit upset. just know that you did the right thing when you went immediately into NC. i mean eventually maybe you can contact him again...but if i were you i wouldnt. he doesn't deserve to be in touch with someone as good as you. i mean look how strong you're actually being and you went to the UK and you didn't cheat?? that means you're 10 times better than him already. good for you. dont let him get to you. you do your own thing and let him miss what a good thing he had.

 

keep strong girl. we're here for you and you WILL find someone better and someone who will be 100 percent honest and true to you. none of this is YOUR FAULT. NONEEEE!!!! do not even for a second let a thought like that come into your head..it's all him. not you.

[xblondyx]

Thank you I did feel pretty upset myself when nobody replied lol I felt that nobody cared I won't be getting back in touch with him ever. He's not worth it. He can go off and be with Nat and I hope they are very happy together. I deserve better than him but it still hurts a lot...at least I've stopped crying now! Thanks pearlylove

[annalise23]

Hi Blondy

 

Big HUg! Its understandable that you are upset and hurt.

To break up is hard but knowing your partner has left for someone else (his ex!) is even tougher!

 

You have to stay strong and keep busy. And tell yourself over and over you deserve better. Because you do!!! You will find someone special who will make you happy.

 

 

Im sure if you try and get in touch with your friends, you could try and become closer again. And hopefully your parents will be there for you too!

 

Start a new hobby, do exercise, keep yourself occupied and stop thinking of him.

He really is not worth your tears and I do hope you have stopped!

 

I wish there was more to say. I am day 10 since I split from my ex. And it does get easier. Time is a healer!

 

Here is a good tip, treat yourself to something nice. It doesnt have to be expensive. A face mask, a new top...anything really. A little treat. You deserve it!!

[catren]

Blondy, I think perhaps people didn't respond because some of the feedback might come accross as harsh. So, here goes anyway. I think that the choice to date someone who was still living with their ex was probably not the healthiest choice for you. I think we need to make sure, as much as possible, that the person we are interested in has closed doors to past relationships. He was still living with her - I think that was a huge warning sign to not open yourself up to this kind of hurt.

 

That being said, I don't think it was right how he led you on and was dishonest to you. Of course you're hurting right now but, trust me, you will heal and you will learn from this experience.

 

We all go around seeing things happen to others and sometimes we think we are immune to human suffering. Instead of saying "Why me?", we should say "Why not me?". Life is full of experiences and not all of them will be positive. You have a long life to live and will continue to experience both pleasure and pain. There are no guarantees in life and all we can do is enjoy the good when we have it and to deal with the pain when it comes, as it invariably does.

 

You WILL heal, you will go on with your life, you will find someone to love you as you deserve to be loved. Until then, please don't stop seeking support here (even if it took a while to get your initial feedback.)

[lady00]

You are a remarkably strong girl for holding it together like that when he told you that. He sounds quite insensitive driving over there with her like that. Wow. I bet a lot of it has to do with his desire for convenience/familiarity especially because they already live together and have history. Sorry you got taken along for the ride while they figured out their issues