Do shy guys find it hard to....?

[ladeedah]

I think (I hope this shy guy likes me). He always looks for excuses to be around me or stand close to me but I feel he has a hard time with the basic "How are you" "What are you doing over the weekend?" When I ask him he seems so happy I paid attention to him and than he looks me in the eye and answers my question but he can't deflect it.Instaed he looks for some stupid school related issue to ask me about,meaning safe topics. Do shy guys really have such a hard time making normal converstaion with a girl he likes? Mind you, he is a very outgoing, frinedly guy with everyone else and is not socially inept with anyone else. Can someone out there give me an explanantion?

[Timebandit]

I wouldnt say normal, in the sense that most guys act like that. But I dont think its too uncommon to be insecure around someone you like (who you do not have established a close relationship with). In this case, I think he really likes you.

 

There could be several explanations on his behaviour:

- the stakes are higher with someone you have falled in love with

- he fears that you will reject him

- he might feel that he is not good dealing with girls in general

 

In general, I just think he is afraid to push you away.

[ladeedah]

I am trying so hard to make him comfortable around me.I've invited him to my birthday party and he came with a beautiful wine and he seems to be responding happily to when I initiate coversatins with him, I just don't know if he will ever get the guts to move forward.Should I give up or trust that as long as I keep my walls down and make him comfortable, he will one day make a move?

[Leonhart]

If he's shy, sure. That could be why he's walking on eggshells with you. Do you know he's shy?

 

If he's not shy, maybe he's just not interested.

[Timebandit]

Have you had any opportunities to be alone with him? That might give him some time to warm up.

[ladeedah]

He's not a shy guy but around me he behaves differently than with other girls I think. Yes, when we are working on something together it is actually a quiet kind of comfortable feeling. I feel like he is happy being around me and me around him and he seems more relaxed,but he is still gauging his words to me.Is there hope?

[WrongTurn435]

No, there's no hope whatsoever. Kidding of course.

 

It sounds like things are going along alright. If he truly didn't like you at all, (or at least didn't like the attention) he'd probably be quite a bit less receptive than he has already been. Other than that, it's hard to make any suggestions other than maybe make it more clear that you're in fact interested. How? No clue! Only you know your situation well enough to judge that one.

[Balistic01]

Why not be different and make the first move, or just let him know in a obvious way that if he did make a move you won't reject him.

[Batya33]

I think you've given him the green light by inviting him to your party - the green light to invite you to something, but sure, why not invite him to lunch on a Saturday or to see a museum exhibit.

[inter-verted]

Not accusing you in anyway but don't most women hate clingy guys, like I am BTW. I've done the same lately at the bar and girls hate it. He needs to give you space or add some spice into the mix like go flirt with another girl. It sounds irrational but it builds chemistry or a push-pull attraction that puts you on edge and make you want him more. Being around each other all the time and not with someone else equals irritated or bored with each other. He needs to take the initiative and start flirting to let you know its on a romantic level, not plutonic. That's why you're probably getting mixed signals and don't know what to do.

 

Basically like when you are madly in love with someone and have to leave for a little bit you already miss being with them just minutes later.

[scotty77]

I am trying so hard to make him comfortable around me.I've invited him to my birthday party and he came with a beautiful wine and he seems to be responding happily to when I initiate coversatins with him, I just don't know if he will ever get the guts to move forward.Should I give up or trust that as long as I keep my walls down and make him comfortable, he will one day make a move?---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Shy people freeze when they are around someone that they are attracted to.What often looks like didinterest is in reality ,fear.Sounds like you are doing all the right things patient,trying to make him comfortable.However is the party a work related thing? I wouldn't place too much emphasis on the fact he accepted your invite, if it is.He just might look at it as co-workers getting together kind of thing.You are going to have to make it very OBVIOUS to him that you are interested, if he is indeed shy .Sounds like you are on the right road but I wouldn't wait forever.Perhaps you could get his email from him and express your feelings toward him in an email but of course be prepared for the chance that he isn't interested.Good luck.