Shoul I leave My Wife?

[stayalone]

I have 11yrs together with my X, 5yrs married and a 5yrs old girl with X. First able, I think I married because she was pregnant and her family, etc. She is a teacher; I have a good job make enough money for rent, bills and extra spending (vacation). I decide to go back to school took a loan now my money shrank. Now, I make enough to pay my loans CC bills, in other words I’m full of bills. She is type of person that brings back every favor that she have done to help me. My student loans I got I prove because she co-signs, also my car. Well, she through that in an argument that I went to school because of her, I got my car because of her, and that I’m somebody because of her plus every other thing that she have done for me. Before we got married I cheat on her she find out. We went through the whole process of trust, we got over that, then she got pregnant and we got married. I met a girl in college and I start going out with her (J). I think I fall for J we have now 4yrs. J doesn’t know about my marriage. J is very helpful, very smart and she helps me with some bills too. She’s the type of girl that if she have and I don’t have she pays and I like that is not like if I don’t have we don’t do sh**. My wife is a very good mother and she is a good person but I don’t ask my wife for any favor, I prefer to ask a friends or my mother. Another thing is that she doesn’t cook or she doesn’t like to cook. J is getting tire of me not giving her the time that she deserves. She is trying very hard to keep this going but I’m the one holding back. And I don’t know what to do. I get alone with J family I love her mother, I don’t get alone with X mother because I don’t have money and because of my color skin. And her brothers and sister they talk and I don’t know why. Me and X took therapy, I’m trying to keep the marriage because my baby and don’t think is right. I go out a lot to clubs but I think that I do it just to be out. Sex with X is great I have no complain about that. I’m very confuse don’t know what to do I think I’m used to X. Me and J are not together because I told her I wasn’t sure of what I want but I think that I want J. Help Please.

[Aleadragonhawk]

If you're seriously trying to salvage your marriage, you need to stop concentrating on J and start concentrating on your wife. Therapy isn't going to work if you're going into it more concerned with your affair partner than your spouse. You do have a little girl, and you seem to want to make your relationship work. I'd suggest coming clean, honestly. I don't think that your relationship will be able to heal until your wife knows the truth - and honestly, J also deserves to know what's been going on.