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Recently my best friend Matt introduced me to this girl Ashley. Immediately I was attracted to her and I soon found out the feelings were mutual. We have been hanging out almost every night since we met (about a month) and I can't get enough of this girl. Well last night I was hanging out with Matt and I told him that I really liked her and I was thinking about asking her out. Matt and Ashley have been friends for almost four years and he is one of the coolest guys I know so his input really means a lot to me. Anyway, his first response was that we would be great for each other and how cool that would be if me and her started dating. Well, we had just gotten back from the bar and we were both pretty drunk, so the truth finally came out. He told me that he has had feelings for Ashley for almost four years and that he just never could find the courage to act on them. What made this situation even more awkward is that this isn't the first time this has happened. The short version of this story is Matt , dustin, and Ashley were all good friends and use to hang out all the time. Both Matt and Dustin had feelings for Ashley and they both knew it. Well Matt didn't act on this but Dustin did, and after sleeping with Ashley the group split up. Neither Matt nor Ashley talk to Dustin anymore and both of them got hurt for obvious reasons. Matt is in a long term relationship that has been having problems lately and he told me that if he thought he had a chance with Ashley he would end it in a second. I can tell that he really cares about her and is having a lot of inner conflict with the issues of love and friendship. I really like this girl and I don't want to wonder what could have been for the rest of my life, but I can't let this situation ruin our friendship or theirs. If anyone has any advice for me, I could really use it. Thanks

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Tough situation, I can kind of relate. One of my good friends had feelings for me and it took another friend of ours to express his feelings for me before he would cause he knew he'd be hurt by us being together.


If you and Ashley have been hanging out together alone since you met and your feelings for each other are mutual, then it sounds like you two are already involved. If you back away now she'll be confused. Matt sounds like a good friend who wants you to be happy. If you're concerned about this having a negative effect on your friendship you're right to consider his feelings before you proceed. Matt most likely wouldn't have said anything about his feelings for her if he didn't want you to know. If I were you, I would find out how he really feels about you and Ashley being together. If he give you his blessing, I'd go for it - she could be the one. But if you feel it could ruin a really good friendship (or two) I'd be cautious. Relationships can be deceiving at first and good friendships like that are hard to find.

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