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how would we do it if and when it happens?

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hi everyone, been with my partner for 6 years next month, last weekend we were talking about marriage, and both said we wernt quite ready yet, but we know we are on the same wavelength and want the same things, we were talking about how we would like to get married, where, etc and one thing has been on our minds.

neither of us is religious in any way, (not wanting to offend anyone), and we point blank do not want to get married in a church etc, basically this is a really stupid question but is it possible to get married without the religious side of things? the vows etc come to mind, how does one do this without promising god that we will love each other etc?

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My husband and I are nonreligious and wanted our wedding to be the same. Because of our complicated circumstances (from different countries, parents speak differrent languages, my parents are divorced which leads to awkwardness, etc.) we gave up trying to plan a wedding including everyone and ended up getting married just the two of us on a beach in Hawaii.


I planned the whole thing online and over the phone, and I chose the company based on the quality of the photographer. But the photographer usually worked with a certain minister who handled the vows. So while I requested a non-religious ceremony, the woman I spoke asked if I would mind if the minister threw in a "God bless you", and I figured no harm could come of that so I said OK. The service was fine, maybe not exactly the vows I would have chosen if I'd written my own, but it accomplished the goal of getting me married to my sweetie.


If you Google 'secular wedding' you should come up with lots of info. Good luck and happy wedding!

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My Wedding:


Went to the county courthouse, got the license ($40), went down the hall where they have ministers to peform the ceremony (in some states, there's a judge who will do this), did the ceremony (10 minutes...it would've been less, but the minister's cell phone started ringing in the middle of it and he said he had to take the call), tipped the minister, and got back to the car in less than an hour.


You can have a wedding with no church, no reception, no flowers, no caterer, no photographer/videographer, no BS whatsoever.


Total cost:

$40 for license

$10-20 tip for person who officiates (minister or judge)

$100 for both our rings

$2 courthouse parking


End result:

Just as married as people who spend tens of thousands of dollars and with a lot less stress, runaround and general BS.

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My fiance and I have different religious beliefs so we are getting married by a Justice of the Peace. You don't have to get married in a church or a courthouse though both are options. You can get married practically anywhere you want. My wedding is going to be in a cave. Some places even do little elopement wedding and honeymoon combinations for a really good price. In our vows we are not promising God that we will love each other.. We are promising each other. You can even write your own vows if you want to or do a search online and see if you can find anything you like.

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My wife and I *are* religious and planned a large, religious ceremony. While planning that, Massachusetts passed a law that allowed us to marry in the civil sense as well. We hadn't planned on that, so we just contacted our local justice of peace and asked what to do. She knew of a local gondola in a town square. We showed up in our summer best with two best friends to carry the rings. Picked some flowers off the bush next to the gondola. The justice did a beautiful ceremony that included a Native American poem about the great good that is brought into the world when two people's love create something bigger. Then we joined our friends for tea at the local coffee shop accross the street. It was one of the best afternoons anyone could ask for!

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