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he told another girl he liked her


in_the_mirror
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so i've been dating my b/f for a year and a half, we are in love with one another and have discussed engagment when we are done with college. anyways, we have been fighting for the last month because we are just stressed with me being away at school mostly, cuz we never really fight when we are together. anyways, i realized i had to change somethings about how i react to certain things and just lighten up about things that have happened to me in the past and just move on. alright. i can and will and have done a lot to show my b/f that i am getting better, and it was helping i thought.

 

i was on his computer looking at my e-mails and i saw that he had his ims up. i talk to some of his friends quite often so i was seeing who it was. well i found one screename i didn't know so i looked (i know bad on my behalf but i thought it was someone else) and it turned out to be a girl he works with. well i say that he had said she was gorgeous and she responded with "shouldn't you be saying that to your g/f" and he said "nah" and she said she was a little uncomfertable with that and that he shouldn't say that. he went on to say it was true though, and that he couldn't help how he felt about her. she said she wasn't going to get into that mess and ended the convo......

 

i'm crushed, he always has told me how beautiful i am and that he has never seen anyone more attractive then me by far. and now i feel so insecure. i confronted him and he said that he would never leave me for someone else and that i was over reacting.....idk what to do. i have had this happen to me in the past and it hurts so bad. this girl wants me to come to her birthday party so that i'm not uncomfertable around her. i don't have a problem with her i have a problem with my b/f....and he keeps saying he is sorry, but i feel like he should pretty much be kissing my butt if he wants me to know that he truly wants me, and he has pretty much been doing the same old same old....if not less than how he use to treat me. he doesn't see it, but i do.....help i have no clue how to get over this, and how to get through to him how badly this all hurt.

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I had something similar happen to me recently too. (Props to the girl for saying it was wrong straight away btw) Anyways, when I confronted my boyfriend he was beyond sorry and was so upset with himself for hurting me when he didn't mean to (don't get how he could not know telling someone else they are hot would hurt me but that's beside the point...). I think you're totally right in expecting your boyfriend to be going above and beyond to make this up to you. Him avoiding the whole thing shows he doesn't respect you enough to care about your feelings. He knows he hurt you. He should be showing how sorry he is. I say demand more and if no response, move on!

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"but i feel like he should pretty much be kissing my butt if he wants me to know that he truly wants me, and he has pretty much been doing the same old same old....if not less than how he use to treat me. he doesn't see it, but i do.....help i have no clue how to get over this, and how to get through to him how badly this all hurt."

 

This worries me. Darling, he apologized only when he got caught, basically because he got caught.

He is showing no remorse or desire to change. I'm sorry for what you must be feeling, I really don't think you should get over this. He doesn't understand you or your feelings (he should after a 1.5) and is showing you NO respect or faithfulness. This is a sign of what to expect for future behavior. You are a smart, understanding caring girl....You deserve better.

 

I totally agree with the below statement by rms8.

I think you're totally right in expecting your boyfriend to be going above and beyond to make this up to you. Him avoiding the whole thing shows he doesn't respect you enough to care about your feelings. He knows he hurt you. He should be showing how sorry he is. I say demand more and if no response, move on!
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