DinkyTeacup Posted March 8, 2007 Share Posted March 8, 2007 My boyfriend and I make a year next Sunday and I am happy, but at the same time, I'm worried about something. About two weeks ago, we had a very serious conversation that ended with us both in tears. He ended up confessing that he isn't sure if he can one day handle marriage and having children. Admittedly so, I was devastated when he said those things, because my biggest dreams are to marry and have a family. I love him so dearly and want him to be the one who makes these dreams come true. The next day, we talked about the conversation from the night before and he apologized for having made me cry and said that he just feels this way because he's been so stressed out lately because of his job and he had some car insurance issues that he had to sort out. We also hadn't really seen each other much for a while, because he had a lot of work to do for school. When we'd first started dating, he used to make comments such as, "I can't wait for us to have a baby," and "How exciting it will be when we have our own house!" He told me that he just doesn't want to talk about the topics of marriage and kids for a while so that he can sort his thoughts and then make a decision about whether or not he will want these things some day. I'm worried that he will just string me along for years and then disappoint me by deciding against all of what I've dreamed of always having. Our best friends spoke to him in private and then let me know that I shouldn't bring up the subject for a while and to just let him take it slow. They are expecting their first child any day now, and they said that perhaps he'll be encouraged that everything will be fine once he sees how they handle it (they're married, as well). They think he just needs to see that although both are big commitments, anyone can handle them if they have love and support in their lives. I'm still worried and I hate feeling this way. I love him and don't want to ever lose him. When do you think I should bring up the subject again? How do you think I should open it up for discussion? I'm not trying to rush him. He still has a few years to go before he gets his bachelor's degree and all, but I just want to make sure that we won't end up turning 26 and then he tells me that he doesn't want to marry or have a family. Please help. Any advice will be appreciated. Quote Link to comment
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