Need some opinions

[Chrisser]

So I'm thirty years old been down the break up road before which never gets easier but always gets better...eventually. That I know. I'm not really looking for advise on how to get over this breakup or how to deal with it persay but just looking to vent and get your opinions on my situation.

 

I started dating this girl a little over a year and a half ago. I have been in some pretty screwed up relationships in the past and say that thee were so many red flags with this girl but I ignored every one. I suppose in the beginning I was just sexually attracted to her (she is a playboy playmate) but after a month of hanging out with her I began to see a really wonderful person that I could see myself being with. Her and I both had some vises that were conterproductive to ourselves and a relationship. I am a successful guy that could afford to go out three or four times a week get bottles of booze at the clubs. I worked hard and played ever harder. I was into coke when I was out few lines here and there but only when I was drunk. I had the ability to go out never buy if it was there it was there and go home at a reasonable hour. She did not. She was really into it. I knew that two people up to this type of * * * * was a recipe for disaster right from the get go. Seen it a million times. When we first started dating I was trying so hard to quit partying this way and was kind of over it. She wasn't. When we were together at my place everything was fine, when we were out together everything was fine. When she would go and do an event or a job somewhere she was just a totally different person. It was like Dr Jeckel and Mr Hyde two totally different people. She really hurt me. But I always took her back. She would go to LA or Miami for work and would obviosly be partying and I was kind of an afterthought when she was gone. I would get so pissed at her and she would just run not wanting to deal with me or the situation. When she would get back she would come running into my arms and like an idiot I would take her back. The last few months were just hell. I have so much resentment for this girl that I was unable to be the happy person I was before. My self esteem at an all time low, confidence shattered. I've never been in this situation before. I suppose that I am being repayed for all the times I haven't been all that nice to women in my past. I'm a bit of a flirt and have killed a lot of really great relationships with actual girl friends because I slept with them. I was able to have sex without any thoughts on how it would affect these girls. I was so naive and feel terrible about it now. Carma is a * * * * *. Anyway, so we aggreed that she should move out for a while (oh ya we were living together) and let things cool down. She left and it's been a month and a half or so and I talked to her quite a bit in the beginning but always knew this was for the best. I have come to the relization that this girl sadly is not for me. She is hurting inside and so am I but I am doing things to change and she is not. She would call and I wouldn't answer, she woud text and I wouldn't respond. When I did answer all it would do would ruin my night or ruin my day. I loved her but knew that talking would do nothing for ME. Her stuff is still here, her cats who I have fallen in love with are still here but she won't come and get them. I've asked her to come and get her stuff so many times and she just blows me off. Feels like I'm being taken advantage of to be honest. She calls crying "just wanted to hear your voice" text me saying she misses me but its all self serving and to keep things going till she finds a place of her own...i think. I know this is all over the place just needed to get it out but I spoke to her last night and basically begged her to get her stuff and cats and let me heal. Its been almost two months since she left here but having all this stuff here make it hard to start healing. There is a constant reminder of her all over the place. Its driving me nuts. If you took the time to read this thanks a lot. This site has been good for me in the past and just needed to vent a little. C

[astaro]

if i where you i would pack all her stuff, rent a locker or a storage unit and put it there, when she finally wants it back just give her the key, you cant be responsible for her belongings and i am sure seeing her stuff around the house isnt making this easier on you.

 

all i can say is you did the right thing. i think the biggest thing is not to forget the lessons you have learned from this relashonship. specificaly the lessons about yourself.