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Confused...very confused


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Hello Everyone,

 

I have been in a long-term relationship for just over 2 years now with my girlfriend. I am 18 and she is 19. At first we had a bit of a rocky start with each other, but with time we've been able to forgive each other for our misdeeds. Now the relationship is very stable, and very loving, but it is only I who has a problem now. I do love my girlfriend, and I enjoy the comfort of the relationship, but at the same time, I am not sure if I want to be with her for the rest of my life. I enjoy the comfort of the relationship, but at the same time I feel like breaking it off with her and dating other women. I'm afraid of true long-term commitment (IE living together, marriage etc.), but I'm also afraid if I break it off with her, that I won't be able to find something as stable ever again.

 

My question comes as simple as this: Should I break up with her, because I don't know exactly what I want in my love life? This is really tearing me up inside, and any advice offered would help me a bunch.

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Do you have a reason to break up with her OTHER than the fact that you aren't sure if there's something better? Long term commitment IS hard when you're young...trust me, I know! If you are afraid that there IS something better, chances are she's not for you...if you were truly happy and satisfied with all aspects of your life, I don't think you'd be having those kinds of doubts. JMO though.

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That's the thing. She treats me well, she's very committed, something that anyone wants in a relationship. It feels like the right thing, but I just feel that this has come too early in my life. Part of me wants to see other people, but the other part of me tells me that will get me nowhere, and that I may regret breaking up with her. Would an "open relationship" be a good alternative? To not completely call it off, but to take a break.

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This is really tough. I don't suggest the "open relationship" thing...that is not fair to her...it's kind of placing a lower value on her than she deserves. She may agree to it just to keep you but ultimately she'll be miserable if she wants a committed relationship. On the one hand, if you break up with her you could really regret it. On the other hand, you could regret staying with her and even if you did regret leaving, you would probably find another relationship that is just as good, if not better (just the nature of life...so many people out there for you to meet). I had a guy break up with me because he couldn't see me in his life for the long turn. It hurt a lot but I'll get over it. If you break up with her, she'll get over it and she will also date others and find others to be happy with.

 

If you just have a gut feeling about this then go with that. It probably won't fail you. I should warn you though: often times when people break up just to be single and then try to go back, they find their ex partner quite unwilling to go through that pain again with the same person.

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