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is porn really such a big deal ?


astaro
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i see so many topics on this subject, people think they are doing something wrong, women getting jealous about guys watching porn, questions about excessive porn viewing.......

 

I am no saint, i have watched my fair share of porn and will most likely continue to do so at one point or another in my life, most guys i know watch porn (i actually only know of 1 that doesn't) and i really don't understand what all the fuss is about.

 

i have even been caught by one of my ex's masturbating to porn, i smiled at her and asked her if she wants to come gimme a hand

 

i think 90% of men watch porn to fulfil void fantasies and i really don't understand what all the fuss is about. as long as a person does it in their spare time and it doesn't have any effect on the relationship.... who cares?

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when i look at porn, i don't go "I WISH I HAD HER" its just... watching... I dunno... voyeuristic...

 

I just do it for release...

 

lol

Im the same

 

sometimes I think "god, i gotta get him to do that to me" or "I wish I had a body like that"... but I would much rather be with my mister than be watchign porn by myself.

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when i look at porn, i don't go "I WISH I HAD HER" its just... watching... I dunno... voyeuristic...

 

I just do it for release...

 

 

My reason exactly. My gf is VERY hot. It doesn't make me want them instead of her. I'd love the emotional AND physical relationship we have. voyeuristic is the exact word that describes why I like it. It's just a different form of release.

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I think it's something that both partners needs to be aware of and agree upon. If one of the couple sees it as an issue then it's just that and it gets to be a bigger and bigger one if it's kept secret.

 

FWIW, by gf likes it too and we watch together. I don't sneak around behind her back and watch it on the other hand.

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I just see so many posts on here from females who believe their partner has a porn addiction, and it does affect their relationships.

 

And I can't help but wonder how guys would feel if their girlfriend masturbated to mostly male porn two, three, four times a week. I'm sure there will be some who say they wouldn't care...but I suspect if it bothers us women so much when our partners do it, that it would bother men if the shoe was on the other foot.

 

Finally, I think the porn industry itself is basically disgusting and exploits people who were often sexually exploited at a young age. Apparently, some studies have shown that the majority of women in porn were molested as children.

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this might seem a bit harsh but while they didn't choose to be molested they did choose to work in porn, weather or not their childhood affected that or not is besides the point in my opinion.

 

in my opinion a person who get jealous of porn is just showing their own insecurity. if someone was in a good healthy relationship i don't think watching porn or not watching porn would ever become an issue.

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I just see so many posts on here from females who believe their partner has a porn addictio, and it does affect their relationships.

 

And I can't help but wonder how guys would feel if their girlfriend masturbated to mostly male porn two, three, four times a week. I'm sure there will be some who say they wouldn't care...but I suspect if it bothers us women so much when our partners do it, that it would bother men if the shoe was on the other foot.

 

Finally, I think the porn industry itself is basically disgusting and exploits people who were often sexually exploited at a young age. Apparently, some studies have shown that the majority of women in porn were molested as children.

 

I agree with the notion that is does exploit women, but I don't think that's the reason why most women don't like it. There are a range of reasons from jealousy to disgust and everything in between.

 

I don't have a problem with porn as something that I and/or a partner can enjoy, but there are definitely some issues with exploitation that I don't like.

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I just see so many posts on here from females who believe their partner has a porn addictio, and it does affect their relationships.

 

And I can't help but wonder how guys would feel if their girlfriend masturbated to mostly male porn two, three, four times a week. I'm sure there will be some who say they wouldn't care...but I suspect if it bothers us women so much when our partners do it, that it would bother men if the shoe was on the other foot.

 

I agree with this 100%. And....it's absolutely not a jealously thing with me.

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in my opinion a person who get jealous of porn is just showing their own insecurity. if someone was in a good healthy relationship i don't think watching porn or not watching porn would ever become an issue.

 

I agree and disagree. I agree because when I'm in a relationship and the sex is both good and frequent I feel no desire at all to watch porn and/or masturbate.

 

I disagree because I'm sure a lot of guys still masturbate even when they're sex life is good so that would make me wonder, "why do they want to masturbate if they're already getting enough sex from their partner"

 

Lack of sex is the only reason I ever had to masturbate in a relationship, but I've definitely watched porn with one of my ex's

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this might seem a bit harsh but while they didn't choose to be molested they did choose to work in porn, weather or not their childhood affected that or not is besides the point in my opinion.

 

So it's all good, right? Their pain is your gain? Today's molested girl is tomorrow's spank bank?

 

Children in the Phillippines choose to work for 3 cents a day to make the clothes that line Wal Mart shelves every day, yet we as a nation decry this practice.

 

Impoverished people choose to work for minimum wage or less every day, yet people constantly cry "exploitation" on them.

 

Drug-addicted people do anything they can to get a fix, porn and prostitution being among the most salacious. Women who have been sexually assaulted, whether through molestation or rape, often turn to promiscuity as a means of exercising control over their sexuality. Homeless women will do almost anything to get food. These are women in the deepest, darkest pits of their own personal hell, whose arrested development has manifested into a career in porn. But hey, it's a "release" for you, so it's okay.

 

I have a close friend who 20-some years ago got himself through college by writing, acting in, and producing over 400 adult films. He met thousands of actresses, and he estimates that some 90% of them had serious drug or alcohol problems. Whether the career in porn caused the addiction or the addiction caused the career in porn he couldn't tell, but he is ashamed every day of having exploited their weakness.

 

These women are forced... sorry, "encouraged" to have sex with these men without condoms constantly. Hooray for the spread of disease and unwanted pregnancy!

 

Next time you watch one of these movies, I want you to think about why the woman is in it. What happened to her to make her choose to get pounded by multiple men every day. Think about her father molesting her. Think about her taking the money from her day's work and going to do a line or to shoot up. Think about her sitting in a homeless shelter with her 3 kids wondering desperately what she can do to feed them and some thick-chain wearing idiot comes to her rescue. THESE are the actresses you get off to. You can delude yourself into thinking that they're all doing it because they love the sex - but it's simply that, delusion.

 

I'm tired of hearing on this board that all women who don't want their men to watch porn are jealous or overly controlling. Some women respect themselves, and don't like seeing other women exploited. Porn is a blatant exploitation of hurt and hurting women, but nobody considers that. The porn industry is ethically reprehensible.

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no, i am not saying its right, i am not saying i approve of it and i am not saying its legitimate.

 

all i am saying is it isn't relevant to the discussion of weather or not women should be jealous of a guy watching porn. it does carry weight if you where discussing the legitimacy of the industry, but that's not what this topic is about.

 

there are many reasons a guy watches porn and masturbates, if your in a long term relationship i am pretty sure your SO has masturbated several times and unless you really have a lot of sex probably does it on a pretty regular basis. even if i was having sex 4 times a week the chance of masturbation is still there, its about the release of a physical urge, pure and simple. there is no hidden agenda. being a horny as a guy is physically bothersome, its really not fun, and a quick self pleasuring session usually just takes the edge off.

 

a lot of guys will often masturbate when they believe they are going to get some to get the "quick one" outta the way. most guys masturbate before dates..... its nothing against women, its just a way for us to keep our hormones and desires in check. guy use porn as stimulation for jerking off, i wouldn't mind if my SO stripped for me instead but...

 

a women being jealous of a guy watching porn is like a guy being jealous of a women's vibrator.

 

Edit - and yes, that happens sometimes to, but is very unjustified if you ask me, sadly enough i am physically incapable of doing what a vibrator does

 

Edit2 - i think any guy who is secure in their sexuality and in a caring open relationship wouldn't mind if his girl masturbated to porn as long as he was getting his fair share of the action. if a guy could replace every time he masturbates with some fun with his SO i am willing to put money on the fact that they would masturbate a lot less often.

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Paisley, you make some interesting and valid points. I don't think all porn is like that though I'm sure some of it is. I believe someone with empathy and compassion can tell the difference and frankly the stuff you describe does come accross as quite disgusting. I think particularly these days with the advent of inexpensive decent digital cameras and inexpensive internet hosting options that many of the porn watchers out there are plunking around on the smaller, non exploitive sites rather than renting the far more degrading stuff from the local porn store.

 

The huge quantity of material out there I think illustrates the fact that it simply can't be all exploitive. There are many different styles and situations out of which this stuff comes from and frankly I don't think all of it is bad.

 

On the other hand, I hear you on the Walmart issue and in a way I think it does more good for the betterment of working conditions overall to buy locally than it does to quit surfing the free porn sites.

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No. Porn is not a big deal.

 

Unless its underage porn. Then, its a HUGE deal.

 

Pornography and pornographical material is leagal and a flourishing market. And just like most other businesses it has its guidelines and rules and for very specific reasons.

 

But, there will always be those who abuse it, manipulate it and become addicted to it like in any other genre. Ie, gambling, drinking, eating, religion, shopping...the list goes on an on....

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I have watched enough porn in my lifetime ( includes erotica as well). I've masturbated alone, with my boyfriend and he has masturbated alone... I don't think there is anything wrong as long as it doesn't substitute real person to person contact. I think some people become addicted and like any other addiction, it starts to control you instead of you controlling it.

 

Whether it degrades women, I don't believe that, just because I have met pepole who have done it. Yes, there are people ( women AND men) who have problems that make them think they have to do porn ( drugs, abuse ect...) but I have also known people who do it because it's their job. That's all. They go, make money and go home to their families.

 

I can't say I have ever been jealous of any woman in porn.

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I don't know what my thing is with porn....it seems like every time I watch it a few days later something bad happens to me!!!!! Maybe it's just a mental thing....I don't know. But I still watch it anyway....lol

 

Lol, bad things happen to people all the time... you're just being paranoid because your head makes some kind of connection between 'porn' and 'evil.'

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all i am saying is it isn't relevant to the discussion of weather or not women should be jealous of a guy watching porn. it does carry weight if you where discussing the legitimacy of the industry, but that's not what this topic is about.

 

Actually, while you referenced jealousy among other things, you didn't really give one specific topic for us to discuss. You asked what all the fuss was about, and my interpretation was that you were asking what people did or did not find wrong with porn. The main thing I find wrong with it is the industry behind it.

 

However, I also believe it can become an addiction, and I've seen a lot of instances on eNotalone where it was tearing apart relationships.

 

I guess I'm just repeating myself at this point, though, so I'll stop, as I've said my piece.

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