uniballpen Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Hi, Haven't posted in a while,its been just over 3 months since my breakup and i suspose I just wanted to put down in words how I feel -Still think about her alot,too much but not as much as I used to or not with the same degree of intensity,think I should be over her but hey I cared -Went 4O odd days NC but broke to get my bikes off her,all very civil,no talk of relationship,like it never happened,back to 11 days NC -Really angry that she bailed at the first hurdle or am I angry at myself(did I ignore the red flags),still feel foolish,vunerable,used(as a rebound bunny)..hate the coldness..and beneath it all shes a wonderful girl -Kinda looking forward to single life have been on a few dates but very wary of and scared and cynical of women in thier late 20's early 30's clucking and looking for a nice nest egg...why can't they just relax,let things go with the flow -Would love to tell her how I feel but that will get me nowhere,accept its over but would have appreciated it if she said it was going to be a hard time for her too (even if she didnt mean it) -feel there were other things going on in her life and I was the easiest thing to get rid of -feel that I'm getting the whole thing wrong and have no idea how she feels -dont want to contact(but would love to at the same time)I don't want to be the chump she strings along,intentionally or unintentionally -Hope I'm not narcissitic,feels that way sometimes,over analyising stuff to the last and feeling down in the dumps -That said getting on with my life,can sleep well,going out with friends,working hard, all the whys,if buts maybes aren't going to change anything but the loneliness and sense of loss are acute,thing I'm in the death throes of the last stage of grieving but the the old anger has been known t raise its head at fairly frequent intervals Anyway better go and thanks folks! Thats about it Quote Link to comment
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