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Ok, they are splitting up my grandmother's assets/estate, even though she's not dead. She's in a nursing home.

 

Background: My older sister received a sum of money for her books in college, my cousin is going to receive this same amount for her college books, and my sister is supposed to receive the same amount for whatever she might need. I've never gotten anything, so my mother wants to cut me a check for this amount.

 

I don't know how I feel about it. My gramma isn't dead yet, and I feel like its a feeding frenzy on her. They sold her house and everything in it and her children are divvying it up as if she had just died. It all seems perverse to me. Granted, I am not financially comfortable in any way, and the money could help me a lot on my two loans (college and car), but I am perfectly capable of keeping up on these. I don't feel right taking the money.

 

Like my grandmother's assets, I'm divided on this issue.

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I understand what that must feel like. What does your nan think of all this?

 

Maybe if you feel odd taking the money and spending it, you could take it and put it into an account somewhere you can't reach, and don't use any of it until your nan does pass away, then it won't feel like so much of a betrayal?

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Depending on how "with it" your grandma still is (I mean, communication, understanding, etc) she might actually want to have her affairs well in order before the "big day". She might also get pleasure out of knowing that her assests are going to good places.

I'm also guessing that she would be very happy to know that you are all getting along, being fair to each other and not fighting about things. That's probably the best gift you can give her.

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A few years ago my parents had the big meeting with my siblings and made us put post-it notes on everything we wanted after they die. It was totally goulish and we were all super uncomfortable about it. However, after much discussion one thing came clear: We (the siblings) didn't want to fight over this thing or that thing and that as long as it stayed in the family then we were OK. IE: my sister got the piano but I can visit it (and her) whenever so its all good.

The rents were very happy that we are all getting along and not being greedy and weird about things.

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I agree with you. I'd hate for you to end up with nothing when everyone else is getting something, which is why I agree with the one poster about putting it into an account. But what is she going to live on? Find out if Grandma is aware of this. She may need a lawyer to act on her behalf.

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