nanachouchou Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Hi All, I will try to cut this long story short. I am 27yrs and hav been with him for 9 mnths. When we met everything was great, we were friends first then we knew there was more to our friendship so we became a couple. In the mean time he broke up with his first love and the only girl he is ever been with for 14years since they were 16. She has been horrible to him since and never talk.We got together 6months after they broke up. The last time they arranged for him to go and get his staffs, he was wishing to get to talk and make a closure for their relationship but instead she got her friend to open the door and give him his staffs, i am the only one he is confident enough to talk to so i was there for him.So we go closer and our couple was anything i will ever wish for. He is telling me that i am great and that i helped him to see that all womans are not the same. He is happy again with me, got alot in common,he told his family( brother,sister and mum about me even his friends).We have a distant relationship he asked me to move in with him and find a new job so i accepted, this was his idea not mine, now he thinks that he wont be able to give me what i want when we move in together. So he wants to be friends. He said he love me so do i. Is been a year that they broke up. I dont kno if i can be friends with him cos i love him and that wont help me to get over him if we talk.This happened monday and we still talk and find it hard to decide what to do. I dont want to let him down by not talking to him at all at he says it break his heart.He says he is sick of the hold she has on him and he is got to sort himself out.I asked him last nite if he thinks that we will EVER be together. He said he needs to talk to her i am confused what should i do please help.](*,) Thanks all xx Quote Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Sounds like he needs or wants some space to sort himself out. I recommend giving it to him. As for the friends part, that is entirely dependent on your comfort level being a friend to him. For me, I could not be a friend with my ex because I couldn't bear to see her with anyone else other then me and I know how much it would devastate me to see her move on without me. So I could not be friends with my ex. If you can see yourself dealing with that type of information then by all means remain in contact. Honestly though, it sounds like he is looking for some space. Good luck and keep posting, myself or others on the forum will try to help you as best we can 1 Quote Link to comment
nanachouchou Posted March 7, 2007 Author Share Posted March 7, 2007 Sounds like he needs or wants some space to sort himself out. I recommend giving it to him. As for the friends part, that is entirely dependent on your comfort level being a friend to him. For me, I could not be a friend with my ex because I couldn't bear to see her with anyone else other then me and I know how much it would devastate me to see her move on without me. So I could not be friends with my ex. If you can see yourself dealing with that type of information then by all means remain in contact. Honestly though, it sounds like he is looking for some space. Good luck and keep posting, myself or others on the forum will try to help you as best we can Thank you very much, i wouldnt mind to give him some space, but even now i just had a txt from him asking me if we can still talk. He cant bear or stand of not talking to me at all he will be gutted. I dont want not to talk to him at all but it makes it harder, and it seams like he will want to be with me only because he cant have her. I just told him that i will be here if he needs to talk and he says that is great news and it means everything to him sorry to be a pain so what should i do??? Quote Link to comment
Beec Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 To the extent you can talk to him, do. But at the same time, do not act like he is your boyfriend or that youa re his girlfriend. So, to some extent you need to seem as if you can accept this and move right on from it, saying NEXT and seeming as if you are ready for a new and different man. In a sense, you will best stir he desire for you by seeming as if you are moving on. Quote Link to comment
nanachouchou Posted March 7, 2007 Author Share Posted March 7, 2007 Thanks for your advice, really helpfull. I will do that cos i cant stand not talking to him either. I will give him the good news tonight i know he will be happy Quote Link to comment
Beec Posted March 7, 2007 Share Posted March 7, 2007 Just let him know yu are willing to try staying in touch and talking. Don't tell him anything else. He should not kow what's in your head. Quote Link to comment
nanachouchou Posted March 8, 2007 Author Share Posted March 8, 2007 Thanks all for your replies means alot. I will let you know the outcome Quote Link to comment
Wandering_Sword Posted March 14, 2007 Share Posted March 14, 2007 How goes it? Are you still hanging in there? Quote Link to comment
nanachouchou Posted March 19, 2007 Author Share Posted March 19, 2007 Hi Wandering_sword, I am sorry hav been away. Is still complicated with me and my men. He wanted us to keep talking and do the friends thing and me being nice and always looking after him i accepted. Now i am not sure cos it hurts alot. The more i talk to him the more it hurts. We are not even planning to meet at all, he still txt and calls me and it makes it hard for me to move on cos i still love him and dont kno what to do. I think he is confused and confuse me as well. Thanks hope to hear from you soon Quote Link to comment
nanachouchou Posted March 20, 2007 Author Share Posted March 20, 2007 Oh hi, just to let you know that i decided not to talk to him anymore. so i sent him a mail today. I am doing this challenge that SUPERDAVE has organised NO CONTACT CHALLENGE.Today is my day one hope i will be ok. I have deleted his number so i wont be tempted. Is been really hard and he just txt me back saying that he will miss me terribly. Will keep you posted Quote Link to comment
MasterT Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Be strong. Remember NC is for your own healing and growth. Oh and awesome to hear you've already deleted his number. That was a step that took me a while to do myself. If you've got him on any social sites, (facebook, myspace, etc.) I would suggest you remove him from your friends list too. Those temptations will hurt you later on in NC. Best to remove all temptation right away, so you don't break NC before you are ready. Quote Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Hang in there, good that you went to NC, it's for the best for you! Dan on Long Island Quote Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 Hi there, Let me warn you about something.... My challenge is for you only...NOT FOR GETTING BACK AN EX...if this is yoru intension...you will be disappointed and miss the meaning behind it. You have been warned. -SuperDave71 Quote Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted March 20, 2007 Share Posted March 20, 2007 We love you superdave, oh yes we do We don't love anyone, as much as you When you're not near us We're blue...... Seriously, Dave is right, they're called exes for a reason! Dan on Long Island Quote Link to comment
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