Relationships ~ How much work is too much work

[onewithbooks]

All the time you hear people say that this relationship is too much work, I just don't know what to do. It shouldn't be this hard.

 

Conversely you have others who say...Real relationships take a lot of hardwork.

 

 

Now I know each relationship is different and all, but for you how much work is too much work, or are you the type who fights it out until the end to put in all the work that is needed to make the relationship work?

[renaissancewoman101]

With all my relationships, I fight it out till the bloody end. I also put my all into the relationship.

 

It doesn't get me anywhere, I still get dumped and am still left alone.

[Daddy Bear]

A similar question would be, "When do you stop giving CPR to someone who's flatlining?" It's a subtle call that's hard to quantify, but I'd rather believe that I tried too long than not long enough.

[Stu147]

A similar question would be, "When do you stop giving CPR to someone who's flatlining?" It's a subtle call that's hard to quantify, but I'd rather believe that I tried too long than not long enough.

 

Good call Somebloke, I completely agree. I was struggling to find the right analogy. I too would rather have a real good go and fail than give up without a fight.

[brando]

Their was a quote from a movie The Mexican goes like this...

 

"If two people love each other, but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough? "

[anggrace]

Good question. Ive been working at this from the beginning. I want it to work so badly, but it can be such a struggle. I guess when I just don't have it in me any more, Ill give up. But hopefully it won't come to that.

[skyjuice]

Hi

"If two people love each other, but they just can't seem to get it together, when do you get to that point of enough is enough? "

 

It is a good question. May be it is fate. I don't know.

[Batya33]

I think it depends what you're working on. It also depends on whether you are claiming to be "working on" something when what's really going on is you're trying to accept something the other person does because he/she is not working on it. Like a drinking problem, focus on watching porn - "we're working on it" is a misnomer, rather, you're "working on" trying to accept the issue and the fact that he/she is not working on it for himself. That's where the problem comes in because in that case, the real problem is that the person who should be working on it, isn't and that's on top of the underlying problem.

 

I guess you can measure it as "if you're happy more than half of the time then hang in there." Also, are you working on it out of fear of being alone or because you really want "this" relationship.

 

I think relationships often take work as far as learning how to communicate effectively about awkward issues and how to deal with criticism and how to give it.

[thlst3]

Relationship takes alot of work... otherwise, how would you know it's worth?

[Aleadragonhawk]

I think that the line to stop at is when the other person is not putting effort into the relationship. Both people have to be working to make it work.

[Devchonka]

"I think relationships often take work as far as learning how to communicate effectively about awkward issues and how to deal with criticism and how to give it."

 

True. I think really it is the only work that should be between each other. Learning to communicate, understand, be openminded, learn from each other, accept differences and celibrate the beautiful feeling of being with this incredible person. I always see it as fighting in the world together, not fighting each other...there's never a reason to fight against one another.

 

I think you stop fighting when the other person doesn't fight for it as hard or on the same level as you are.

[EvaGina]

It doesnt feel that hard when its right... even with all the work.

When it feels like its not worth it... its not